The Jackel
by Arden Tenjou
Summary: There are new recruits to the Survey Corps after the Battle of Stohess. Among them, a former MP who seems to harbor deeper hatred for titans than most, and shows more than usual interest in Annie Leonhardt. Levi suspects she has more on her mind than killing titans, but before he can be sure, he starts to develop feelings that soon get away from him. Levi x OC.
1. Cowards Think Alike

Chapter One

Outside the wall, land seemed to stretch into eternity. It had felt like that before, during missions with the Survey Corps, and when they first embarked on this mission, but now, more alone than they had ever been, it seemed even more vast than before. The feeling of looking out over all of it going on and on, soft and green and beautiful yet full of terror and death, began to feel surreal, like a nightmare.

Ymir seemed to be the only one taking the new situation well, as she sat casually with an elbow resting on her knee, the other leg dangling from the branch over the far distant ground. They currently sat high in the treetops, she and Bertolt sitting near each other, an unconscious and partly dismembered Eren Jaeger tied to a nearby branch, and Reiner across from them. Reiner had never liked Ymir, and certainly after finding out who she was, part of him violently detested her for what she'd stolen from them, but he'd always felt an affinity with Krista's cynical protector. Maybe it was the name. For Reiner, it meant a strange mix of bitter self-hatred and a long-distant, warm memory of a soft voice who spoke to him soon after his birth. Maybe there were some sacred, ancient things that Eldian blood kept alive, in spite of the horror it had caused.

At length, Reiner noticed that Bertolt had been opening and closing his mouth in anxiety and repeated attempts to speak for some time, glancing sideways at Ymir now and then as if wishing she would leave or sleep. Reiner followed his gaze and quickly surmised she would do neither, so he addressed Bertolt, "What's the matter?"

Bertolt frowned hard at Ymir once before turning his gaze to the ground and pursing his lips in frustration. "Did you see her?" he asked finally.

Reiner blinked in shock at what he first thought Bertolt was asking. "Who? Annie? You know I didn't. I'm sorry, but you know we couldn't have gone back for her in that situation."

Though she didn't turn her head, Reiner felt Ymir's gaze shift closer as she listened carefully.

Bertolt closed his eyes and shook his head, clearly trying to banish the feeling of helplessness at having to leave Annie behind. "No. It was…another one. One of us, inside the walls. A girl with black hair."

Reiner thought back to what seemed like an eternity ago, when they had still been inside the walls and still one of those pitiful monsters they'd been infiltrating all this time. No, not one of them, he reminded himself. Pretending. He shook off the momentary unease that clung to his chest at that thought. Bertolt wasn't always the best communicator, so Reiner had gotten used to connecting the dots on his own. He must have been talking about someone they didn't normally see, but the only faces they'd seen recently were those of the Survey Corps. In which case…the recruits from the battle of Stohess?

"Black hair?" Reiner repeated, still trying to draw up an image. "Wait…you mean the one who headbutted Eren Jaeger?"

Bertolt hunched in on himself, sadness and unease pulling his brows tight together. "Did you ever hear a story…about an El-" he stopped abruptly, glancing at Ymir. Though she was listening, Bertolt soon came to the same conclusion Reiner had long ago; no matter what happened to her, she'd never be in a position to expose them again. "…an E-…Eldian rebel," Bertolt managed at last. "Who changed sides when she was a teenager? And became a spy for us?"

"Heard plenty of stories like that," Reiner replied bitterly, through a tense jaw. "Why are you bringing that up now?"

"No, that one…the Marley always doubted her loyalty, but kept using her because she didn't mind getting her hands dirty for them. They had a nickname…for a coward that bites…don't you remember?"

Ymir chuckled darkly, casting a chill over the bones of the other two. Slowly, they both turned their gazes to her as the sun rose over the hills, signaling that their temporary safety here would soon be at an end.

"You tell such interesting stories, Bell-toll," Ymir drawled. "Shall I tell you one? It goes a lot like yours, except it has an ending. In all those old stories they made me read, over and over, there was a creature that appeared here and there. Always tipped things out of balance. A lonely outcast. A coward that picks the bones of the defeated. And now and then, tears them down herself. The jackal."

As Reiner and Bertolt watched her in gathering fear, she grinned frighteningly. "You ever hear that story?"

…

Forty-two hours earlier

…

"Ow."

Levi stepped back as a recruit – who'd just bumped into him – also took a step back, rubbing her shoulder. The lower half of her face was bright red with blood from what looked like a broken nose, but she smiled with difficulty and nodded in greeting when she recognized him.

"Captain," she struggled in a somewhat nasal voice, and walked past.

"Oy. Titan bait," Levi growled, highly irritated by everything that had just happened. "What's the problem?"

She turned back toward him, the levity slowly leaving her face, and briefly glanced back the way she had come, down a corridor from which sounds of pain and gathering commotion could be heard. She met Levi's gaze with an unreadable expression.

"No problem, sir," she said. "Just settling in." When Levi frowned, expecting further explanation, she simply nodded politely once more and made her way back toward the barracks. Like many former MPs, she obviously wasn't very diligent about saluting.

Levi narrowed his eyes after her. He expected trouble when a bunch of Military Police requested transfers to the Survey Corps. The incident in Stohess had shocked a lot of them into action. Of course, there was another reason that someone with a connection to Annie Leonhardt might want to transfer to the Survey Corps at this moment. Anyone she might have worked with in the MPs fit that category.

Levi rounded the corner of the corridor to find Eren Jaeger slumped on the floor holding his stomach, a bruise rapidly forming over his cheek, only to start smoking and soon disappear. Standing over him were his two friends; the talented one and the smart one. Levi had a problem remembering names of the new ones.

The talented one looked ready to tear someone's face off. "Who did it, Eren?" she whispered with her face darkened by an animalistic glare.

"Are you okay?" asked the smart one kindly.

The next moment, the horse-faced one ambled over, carrying his pack because the recruits from the 104th cadets had been ordered to move out soon, and stopped to peer down at Eren. He stood back up after he got a good look. He uttered a single, "Ha!" Then leaned back down to continue, "You still haven't gotten any better at making friends, have you, suicide freak?"

"You want some too, Jean?" Eren demanded, immediately on his feet.

Levi closed his eyes in anticipation of a headache. "Brats," he barked as he approached. They all flinched and saluted. "Did you get Erwin's order or no?"

"Yes, sir," they all mumbled, out of sync.

"Then what are you still doing here?"

"Please wait a moment, sir," Mikasa said softly, taking a step toward Levi to entreat upon him. "I just need to settle some unfinished business."

"What?"

With utterly no facial expression she whispered, "Cutting some meat."

"Save it for later. Move out. You three know what to do, right?"

Eren and his two friends silently nodded.

"And you," Levi said, rapping his fist against the chest of the tall, horse-faced one (Jean?). "Off to the interior for strategy lessons with Erwin."

Eren smirked. "Aren't you happy? You finally get to go to the interior, Jean."

"Are you trying to get your ass kicked, Jaeger?"

"Leave it. I won't say it again," Levi growled, lightly kicking the back of Jean's weight-bearing leg and causing him to wither like a blade of grass.

Since they were going to the same place, Levi followed Eren's group as they entered the barracks. He tried to suppress the feeling of unease rising in the pit of his stomach. The majority of the 104th cadets, save for these four, had been ordered to return to civilian attire for the time being and wait for orders in a secret location. Since Levi was one of those who'd joined the Survey Corps after the Fall of Maria, he was not one of the few who had been let into the secret of why Erwin had ordered them to do that. He had a suspicion why it was, but he wasn't smart or interested enough to figure it out completely.

The remainder of the Survey Corps, including new recruits, were staying here in the headquarters for the foreseeable future. One of Levi's duties – as he recovered from his injury in the Forest of Giant Trees – was to oversee the integration of those recruits and make sure they wouldn't die on their first exterior mission. At about noon that day, after the departure of the 104th, plus Mike, Nanaba and a few others to guard them, the remainder of soldiers had a scheduled training session, a mix of veterans and titan bait.

Levi looked out over the gathered group in the training ground. The atmosphere was grim, yet terribly tense, as if a slight breeze might provoke a scream. Though used to losing their comrades, the veterans of the Survey Corps always had a hard time coming back to themselves after a mission. And this one had been much worse than most. Levi caught many of them eyeing his ankle or civilian clothes with anxiety wrinkling their brows. But he had great respect for the ones who had been injured in this mission but still showed up for practice anyway.

It was easy to tell where the new recruits had come from, and where they stood among the group. About half a dozen former members of the Garrison tried to look brave, but were clearly shaking. They were obviously terrified of titans, and good for them to brave that fear, but were also struggling with an inferiority complex about feeling they didn't belong here. That could lead to some problems with cowardice in the field if it wasn't dealt with here.

A handful of former MPs were looking around with narrowed eyes, raised brows and pursed lips at the others in disdain; they were just as scared to be here, but felt they were better prepared to face titans by virtue of their superior skill. Only a few glanced at Levi in trepidation. One who didn't fit any of these categories was a young woman with short, black hair, and slightly swollen nose. The one who'd bumped into Levi earlier. She offered an ironic smirk as Levi caught her gaze, but quickly wiped it away and looked blankly ahead.

"Salute," Levi barked.

The veterans and Garrison obeyed. And a half a second later, so did the MPs. Levi closed his eyes with a sigh.

"Okay," he said. "I get that you're all going through some stuff right now. And I don't have time for it. So we're going to deal with it in a more direct way."

Levi had each person grab a partner – no new recruits could partner together – and face one another for hand-to-hand combat practice. What Levi actually said was, "Beat the shit out of each other. No maiming or killing," but fortunately the veterans knew what he meant. Even so, the veterans rarely did this kind of training. Obviously it wasn't useful against titans. The only ones expected to use it regularly were the Garrison, and even they rarely had to, in the real world. Strangely, while a few of the MPs looked utterly shocked, a few merely looked blankly ahead, as if this was par for the course. The girl with the broken nose was one of them. That confirmed one of the suspicions Levi had had about what really went on within the Military Police.

It took a while for them to get warmed up, but gradually those punches started to have some real force behind them. Soon each person was utterly concentrating on their opponent and the air filled with the sound of boots scraping against the dirt and grunts of exertion. The nervous tension in the new recruits and the malaise in the veterans was fading away. It was at that moment that Hanji and Moblit turned up.

Hanji had a particular kind of smirk for when they were fed up. A particular coldness in the eyes and anger hidden just behind them, despite managing to find humor in almost any situation. But Levi hadn't seen it for a long time, not since before they became a squad leader and stopped being so angry all the time. He assumed it was something to do with interior politics, which Hanji had been taking a bigger role in lately.

"What have you got going on here, Levi?" Hanji asked, managing a light-hearted tone.

"Training," he replied simply.

"Mm. Sounds nice," Hanji said, dumping their bag and cloak on the ground and stretching their shoulders and back. Strangely – though perhaps Levi shouldn't have been surprised – they walked in among the rest of the soldiers and made a beeline for the trouble-making MP from earlier. "Mind if I cut in?" they asked her.

Levi thought he saw a twitch of disdain flicker over the girl's face, and then a soft smirk. "Squad Leader Hanji," she murmured. "It would be my pleasure."

As the girl's previous partner scurried away, Hanji and the MP faced one another in fighting stances. Barely a breath passed before there was a flurry of fists and both backed off, shaking off blows to the head.

Hanji wiped a small trickle of blood from a split lip and grinned at her. "Interesting. They don't teach that move in cadet training."

"No?" The girl glanced away before shrugging, inserting her tongue in her cheek to make sure all her teeth were still there. "Sorry, it's been a while. I guess I don't remember. Just use what works."

"You do a lot of hand-to-hand combat in the Military Police?" Hanji asked, with barely a hint of suspicion.

There was no emotion in the MP's face as she watched Hanji. "No," she answered darkly.

"Hm. Fair enough."

After overhearing this exchange, Levi finished walking around the training grounds, seeing what he deemed to be enough dust-covered backs and raised his voice over the scuffling. "Martial arts training is over. Mount up, we're going to the woods."

"Huh?!" cried a few veterans audibly.

Levi's scowl deepened as he realized he had to explain himself. He sighed. He hated doing that. "You just got knocked off your horse by a titan. You've got bumps and bruises, and you're tried from running. What's the next thing you have to do?"

A few Survey Corps sighed and muttered, "Get back on."

Hanji pressed a finger to their lips in thought. "And ride to a place where you can use mobility gear. Surprisingly well thought-out training method, considering it's you, Levi."

Levi's scowl deepened as his glare rounded on the scientist. "Don't you have some pigs to kowtow to?"

"It can wait. For the moment, I think this is more interesting."

There was some confusion as the Garrison and Military Police, many of whom had never really ridden horses before, were assigned either freshly broken yearlings or horses that had lost their riders outside the walls. After making sure they had all mounted and had their 3DMG ready to go, Levi mounted and squeezed his own horse's flanks to guide them out of the city to the nearby woods, used for combat training by the Survey Corps. After exiting the developed area, Levi raised a hand high and gestured forward, pushing his horse to ride at nearly maximum speed. The recruits struggled to keep up.

When they arrived, horses huffing and many soldiers also out of breath, Levi instructed a handful of veterans who he trusted to operate the wooden titans hidden strategically within the forest. Then to the others, he simply said, "You need to be told everything? Go kill some titans."

Levi noticed Hanji and Moblit taking to the trees with their mobility gear too, each finding themselves high vantage points. Levi himself rode at high speed into the woods, then gave the horse his head so he could watch the display above. From here, he got to see a little bit better what he'd suspected about the new recruits.

There was something most of the Garrison and all of the MPs had in common. A little jiggle in their step. A little heaviness in their gait, and now slowness in their ascent. It was flab. None were really overweight. But anything above a minimal body fat percentage, and even heavy musculature, was a huge disadvantage in 3DMG. It was why little Levi, who had suffered from malnutrition during his developmental years, was the best in the entire human race, and Erwin – though perhaps equally skilled, but packed with muscle on his large frame – was essentially a desk jockey. It didn't take long for the difference to show.

The MPs were quick to take two kills before anyone else (kills being in this case cuts to the leather pads on the wooden titans' necks), but not even ten minutes later, the MPs were on the ground, catching their breath, drenched in sweat. They'd been outstripped by the Survey Corps and unable to make any more kills after those first two. They ran out of steam, completely. The Garrison stumbled to the ground beside them, none having yet managed a single kill. The veterans kept on moving without signs of tiring, and quickly finished all the remaining kills, then returned to wait for orders in branches above Levi. They exchanged sidelong glances as they alternately raised their eyebrows at the state of the new recruits. Levi rode over and joined in their dubious assessment.

"If you're going to rest, outside the walls," Levi drawled to the newbies. "I suggest you do it in the trees. Every one of you failed this exercise. That means you're dead." As he turned his horse around to walk deeper into the forest again, he said over his shoulder, "Get back up. We're going to run out your gas tanks before we go back to HQ. Second strike to each titan, then practice formation movements."

The MPs and Garrison groaned, some near sobbing with exhaustion and frustration, but to their credit they did as they were told. It was clear; they would all need to develop their lungs and endurance, and most would have to lose a lot of the fat that they had accumulated from their comparatively easy life; excessive sweets and meat-eating in the case of the MPs, and drinking too much homebrewed moonshine in the case of the Garrison.

He knew that while training them in this exhausted state, though efficient, would cause the chances of an accident to go up exponentially. But he also assumed that, unlike most he had trained, these were adults and had already gone through training, they'd at least know their own limits. But he miscalculated one thing; the terror in the hearts of those who had never seen a titan before the Battle in Stohess, and the desperation it had instilled in them.

A young MP, who can't have been more than seventeen, suddenly went slack in the middle of a dive toward a fake titan's neck. He had fainted, either from exhaustion or reliving the trauma of that day. At that speed, it was likely he was going to die. Hanji suddenly appeared flying toward him, but they were too far and wouldn't make it in time to save him. Then a small, dark figure swept in – apparently another quick turner like Connie Springer – and grabbed the young man's back by his gear.

There was a sickening snapping sound and a cry of pain. Levi was hardly surprised to see who'd made this daring rescue and who was clenching her teeth and sweating through what looked like incredible pain from a floppy, deformed shoulder as she held her cohort high above the forest floor. The girl with the broken nose. Levi wondered if they might have gotten a masochist in this new batch. There was an inherent problem with those types; they could only push it so far until they actually got eaten. It would be better if that weren't the case.

He rode his horse underneath them as Hanji and another veteran carefully helped the two injured MPs down. He accepted the unconscious boy onto his horse in front of him while the one with the obviously dislocated shoulder dropped to the ground on her knees, panting and shaking.

Hanji dropped down beside her. They knelt down, felt around the joint a bit, obviously causing even more pain, before making the observation, "Yeah. It's popped out."

"Can you put it back?" Levi asked without inflection.

Hanji gave a nodding shrug. "Probably. Hey sweetheart," they said to the girl, in a kinder tone. "You trust me to fix this for you? Or you want to wait for a medic back at HQ?"

To Levi's surprise, he thought he saw the girl flash a momentary glare at Hanji. Was it just the pain? The shadow of the trees? Because for a moment, it sure looked like hatred. Either way, the next moment she swallowed and looked up at Hanji with a blank expression. "I assume you've done this before?"

Hanji gave her a toothy grin. "I have bad hobbies."

"Keh," the girl barked out, and once again Levi thought he saw a flicker of darkness in her eyes as she eyed Hanji from below. But after another pause, she eventually nodded. "Please."

As Hanji prepared to reset the MP's shoulder, Levi addressed those who had come to see the commotion. "The rest of you, mount up. Let's call it a day."

Crack!

"Agh!"

"Got it," Hanji announced merrily.

The Survey Corps and the shaking and exhausted MPs and Garrison made their way back to the horses, mounted up and headed back toward HQ. Slowly. Some were so tired they needed to be steadied in their mounts. Levi made a mental note of which ones were already at their limit. They might not make the cut.

At one point he found himself riding beside the girl from before. She was still clenching her jaw with every odd step of her horse, her right hand resting loosely in her lap instead of holding the reins. It was likely a moot question, as he wouldn't remember the answer for long, but Levi asked, "What's your name?"

She glanced at him with surprise at being addressed directly. "Oh? I've caught the attention of mankind's greatest warrior? What an honor." Levi scowled deeply. He didn't exactly appreciate being adored in the way that Eren and those like him did, but he hated facetiousness even more. "It's Janice. Janice Robin."

"You're an MP, right?"

"I thought I was in the Survey Corps."

That seemed jumping the gun a bit, Levi thought. "After your first mission," he replied. "That's what they say here. They won't accept you until you've gone outside and come back alive. Like the way you don't want to get too attached to a pet pig that might be slaughtered."

Her eyes, which at this distance Levi noticed were an unusual hazel color, flicked toward him with that hint of disdain they'd shown earlier. "Well. I thought my superiors in the interior were heartless. Out of the frying pan and into the fire."

"On that subject, I assume you know why you got injured back there."

"Hm…bravery, I suppose," she quipped.

Levi raised his eyebrows, not amused. "I don't know what counts as bravery in the interior. But where I'm from, pushing yourself for the sake of showing off is called bravado, not bravery."

"Oh dear," she sighed, with a look of perfect indifference as she glanced away. "Sorry, Captain. I'll be sure to keep the showing off to a minimum."

Levi rolled his eyes. What a waste of a conversation. As he turned away, he heard Hanji continuing the pointless chatter behind him.

"Don't mind him. I mean, what you did was stupid and I'm sure didn't earn you any friends here-"

"Thanks…"

"-and apart from that one shining moment, you were pretty weak and slow and lacking in endurance for the most part back there-"

"Wow, thanks…"

"But all's well that ends well. And what's more, you seem to be handling the thought of facing titans a lot better than most. Especially if the first ones you saw were Eren and the Female Titan," Hanji continued thoughtfully. Levi glanced back at them with suspicion. What kind of a question was that? It wasn't a question, he realized, but the kind of statement that required an answer.

He couldn't help turning his head a little to see Janice's expression. Again, it had lapsed into slightly dark blankness. She didn't seem to care much for Hanji. Or maybe she found any authority in the Survey Corps to be technically beneath her, considering the MPs were used to ordering anyone in the Garrison around. Or maybe it was something else.

"I've seen them before," she murmured at length.

"Oh…I'm sorry," Hanji backtracked a little, but Levi's eyebrow twitched. He could tell that wasn't real surprise in their voice. "You were involved in the Fall?"

"Involved? Yeah. Guess so."

"Do you mind if I ask where you're from? Not the interior I assume, from your way of speaking."

Janice was looking less and less pleased that this conversation was still going on. But in a deceptively soft voice she answered, "You wouldn't know it. A little village of just five families, including mine. It's…or it used to be…just outside Quinta District."

"Quinta?" Hanji asked, showing genuine surprise. "Inside Wall Maria? So then, were you there for…"

"The rebellion? Hah. No. I high-tailed it when the titans came. Not really the rebellious type." The MP's eyes turned down to her right hand, limp in her lap. She clenched it experimentally and winced with pain before she went on. "But…forgive me, you've been dancing around what you really want to ask, haven't you Squad Leader? If the titans didn't scare me into it, why did I give up the good life and join this ragtag circus?"

"Before I confirm that, I wonder if I should take offense to your description," Hanji commented absently.

"Don't worry, sir, I did," Moblit piped up from a little ways behind.

Janice sighed. "I doubt I could give you a satisfactory answer. I guess I just got pissed off. You know, you see a job done poorly and you always think you can do better. You still haven't even reached Shiganshina District, isn't that right? And Annie…Annie Leonhardt," she clarified, after a miniscule pause. "…is locked in amber like a mosquito, unable to be questioned, experimented on, or even eliminated?"

Hanji's smile had faded as they watched the young recruit. Either that answer was truly unexpected or it struck a nerve.

Janice watched them for a moment, perhaps satisfied by that reaction, then turned away. "My old man…" she murmured. Something about her tone made other nearby soldiers start to glance over and listen. "…had bad legs. And I used to be a weak little runt, couldn't ever carry my weight in the village. I got bullied a lot, never accepted. But he was the only person who never told me being weak was wrong."

Levi felt a soft surge of anger at that, but it was a complex feeling. Where he'd come from, being weak meant death. Or else becoming a burden on someone else. It was almost a sin. He didn't try to hurt anyone by telling them being weak was wrong, but he never had a kind thing to say about someone who didn't at least try to fight. He knew that wasn't fair for the people who wanted to but couldn't, but it was hard to get over years of pain and anger at those who burdened others with inability. Starting with his own mother.

Indeed, Janice continued with equal cynicism, "Not sure he was right about that, because of course when the time came, he couldn't run. Couldn't even hold himself up on a horse without help, so he was never going to make it out of there. My mother and I waited with him, even while we heard them coming. And at first, I didn't even mind. I'd always thought, if I die, at least I want it to be with my family. So we can be together. My mother never faltered in that belief, right up until the end. As for me…"

When Levi caught a glance at her expression, it was horrific. Her eyes were wide, wrinkles casting shadows in all the wrong places and making her look demonic. She barely looked human, let alone sane. "I took one look at those two…grinning at me…not even human…and I ran. I took someone's horse. Don't know who. But I know they're dead now. I rode all the way to the gate of Klorva. I would have been happy to live the rest of my life never seeing another titan face."

She flicked her gaze back at Hanji accusingly. "But you just had to disturb that peace, didn't you?" Her face took on a soft smirk, though just beneath the surface, little of the horror had faded. "No offense. Just thought I should stop complaining and do something about it, if I didn't like it. Not sure that's the answer you were looking for."

Hanji took this in in silence for some time. They eventually nodded with a smile. "Nonetheless, it was very informative. Thank you."

Janice sighed, finally looking as drained as everyone else, and urged her horse to walk a little faster. Levi dropped back to ride beside Hanji, who was deep in thought. "What was that about?" he grumbled.

Hanji smiled innocently at him. "What was what?"

"Never mind."

Late that night, not long before lights-out, Levi went out for his evening walk, trying to restore some useful motion to his ankle. He knew he was probably pushing it and should rest it, but every time he thought about Eren's face when he woke up and saw Annie frozen, it made his leg muscles itch to move. It was stupid, but here he was.

The cold air was at first pleasant, but now was making his ankle really hurt. He felt a little shivery and realized he might be developing a fever from the swelling, especially after exerting himself in the afternoon. Mortal weakness was so inconvenient. He decided to head back soon, but before he did, on a whim found himself heading toward the place where his mind often wandered these days.

Since the incident in Stohess, Annie Leonhardt had been kept in a secret location underground. But among the Survey Corps, the secret was badly kept. Many were aware of the small storage shed, containing a trap door and staircase underground, the only entrance to the chamber where she was kept. Levi walked around the horse's stable toward the shed, not to go inside but merely to see it. He was surprised to find he was not the only person who had had that idea today.

He rounded the corner of the stable to find a single soldier leaning against the wall, arms folded, staring hard at the door of the shed. He recognized the straight black hair and hint of broken skin on her nose. She hadn't noticed him. At first, he watched in silence. Then his meddling nature forced him to intrude.

He walked over to lean against the wall beside her. Her eyes flicked toward him but she said nothing. Her face was locked in sadness as if she might cry.

"Shouldn't kids be in bed?" Levi asked, crossing his injured ankle over his proper one to rest and take his weight off it.

She didn't respond. Her eyebrows twitched together in a deep emotion that Levi had seen before. He'd felt it. And he made a mental note that his suspicion about this person's real motivations for joining the Survey Corps had been right.

He shrugged to her silence. "Well, it's technically free time, so you can go where you like, as long as you don't leave the compound," Levi continued. "And if you do, go AWOL I mean, you'd better make sure no one sees you. It's still desertion even if you just go back to the MPs without permission."

"I'm not planning on quitting," she muttered softly.

Levi glanced at the pain streaking her face before nodding. "Glad to hear it. So. On a scale of one to Hanji, how fucked up are you right now?"

Her expression softened a hair and she almost smiled. But moments later, the sadness returned. "Can't really trust how I feel right now. I'll get back to you."

"If you say so." Sensing he wouldn't be able to push the conversation any further, Levi kept his silence beside her for a time.

Eventually she took a breath in. "Sometimes I wonder why I'm alive."

That one caught Levi a bit off guard. Even though the sentiment was common enough among those who'd lost people here, she didn't strike him as one of those types. If anything she seemed a similar type to that tall boy from the 104th, the one who always looked sad like an old dog. Yet there was anger swirling just beneath the surface, like Eren on a good day. There were a lot of contradictions about this girl, and he got a feeling his inability to figure out the underlying thread between them could be disastrous in the future.

"Why am I alive, here? Now?" she continued softly, gazing blankly ahead toward the shed. "Why was I born into the same world as them?"

Levi's gaze followed hers. "Titans?"

Instead of answering, anger replaced the sadness in her face. "They're disgusting." The words fell like poison from her mouth. "You see them, flailing, dismal, dirty, counting off meaningless days and years. All they can do is consume. They waste everything they touch. They bring no light into the world. They can't even see it."

Levi's frown deepened as he watched her with growing uncertainty. "You're freaking me out. You are talking about titans right? You're starting to sound like the pigs up there talking about us."

"Isn't that funny? The way we talk about things we hate. It's the same no matter the topic or who's saying it. And in the end, human nature means that no one can be universally considered a positive. Everyone's hated by someone."

"You're not wrong about that. But I'd like to think titans more than most."

She shrugged. "Squad Leader Hanji seems to like them."

Levi scowled up at her. "Because they're insane."

Finally, her gaze turned to him, flickering between searching for help and disdain. "You think we're cowards, don't you?"

"MPs? Of course I do," Levi replied without pause. "And?"

She barked out a scoff, cynicism at last overtaking the sadness and turning her expression more normal. "Your reputation precedes you. So you really have no respect for anyone in the interior."

Levi tried to think about it, but realized it was pointless. He shrugged. "Not really."

"You're not wrong," she admitted, with a bitter laugh. "Anyone who turns their back on the fight to live in luxury is certainly a coward. And what about it? Isn't that human nature? Why judge someone for obeying the most basic instinct?"

"I heard someone else say something similar."

As Levi said this, the silence as both he and the former MP stared at the shed was like an oppressive, physical force. They both knew who he meant, there was no reason to say it out loud. In fact, on some level, this entire interchange had been about her. They both knew it, but neither could say it aloud.

The MP closed her eyes with a dark smirk. "Cowards think alike, I guess."

Levi observed her for a time before sighing. "I do think anyone who can fight and chooses not to is a coward. And anyone who gets fat while others are dying to keep them alive is scum."

"Mm," she commented, idly pinching the slightly flabby skin of her stomach.

"But on some level, we're all cowards," Levi went on. Her eyes widened as she stared at him in surprise. "There was a time…not that long ago, all I could think about was living the good life in the interior. I even hurt and stole from others so I could get there. That's the kind of weakness that anyone who's ever had to fight to survive can understand."

Her eyes had grown cold watching him, as if trying to block out the memories his words brought. Levi did that too, so he understood it. But he thought he saw her hands shaking as they clutched her arms.

"What I do respect is anyone who can see that weakness in themselves and fight anyway. Human beings aren't as simple as being all good or bad. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone's weak in their own way. And if you're asking what makes a good person, and thinking I know anything about that, you're barking up the wrong tree."

Her eyes, when he glanced at them again, were red, eyelashes heavy and trembling with tears. She closed her eyes and they ran down her face. She raised a hand to cover her eyes as she shook and tried not to sob. "I'm sorry, Captain. Can you just stay here for a minute?"

Levi sighed. "Unfortunately I don't think I have a choice. My ankle is killing me and I think any more walking will make it worse. Maybe I'll sleep in the stable." He scowled deeply at the thought of how few clean surfaces there were to sleep on. "I'll have to wash all my clothes tomorrow. Twice."

The MP took in a few shaking breaths before she got some control again. She wiped her eyes and nodded. "I'll take you back."

He frowned hard at her, an out-of-shape MP who was only a couple of inches taller than he. "What does that mean?"

The next moment, he found himself lifted into the air and held like a princess by this brand new recruit from the MPs. The girl winced, even as she started walking back toward the barracks. "Captain, you're really heavy."

"It's muscle, asshole."

Though still crying, she sniffed and complained, "And my shoulder really hurts."

"Then don't lift grown men while pretending to be a prince, dumbass."

She bit her lip and held back a sob. "You're really kind, Captain, but your way of speaking is so crass it kind of makes my stomach turn."

"Then mind your own business, brat." Levi gritted his teeth in humiliation, ready to make her pay for this, when her fingers tightened around his shoulder and knee, where she held him. Partly she was struggling with his weight, but she was still trying not to cry, he realized. Eventually, he sighed. He put up with a lot to make brats feel better, he thought.

"To be clear, you won't tell anyone about this," he instructed firmly.

"…do you mean this could be useful if I ever need to blackmail you?"

"That depends. Do you prefer that your internal organs remain inside your body?"

Not half an hour after Levi was back in his room again, the word came through. Wall Rose had been breached. Titans were inside. And Mike, Nanaba and the 104th were suddenly on the front lines.


	2. Monster or Human, Broken or Unbroken

Chapter Two

Janice had always been an early riser. It had to do with trust issues, she thought, because she also went to sleep late. Only after everything was quiet and everyone else around had drifted off. She liked mornings for the same reason. Her first morning after joining the Survey Corps, she woke feeling cold, her shoulder and nose aching. She sat up to see the sun just starting to rise above the level of the buildings outside, piercing down to paint dusty lines of light through the air in the middle of the poorly insulated, dusty room. She ran the threadbare blanket through her fingers. Took a look around at the three other shivering recruits who shared the room with her. She sighed. What was she doing in this pit?

As always, unable to get back to sleep after she woke once, she got up and dressed. Indeed, she noted as she tightened the belts of her gear, Captain Levi had been more or less correct about the condition of the MPs and Garrison, as opposed to the Survey Corps. Janice was still small and thin, as she'd always been, but she recalled that after immediately after the intense cadet training, the legs of her pants had felt tighter – with larger leg muscles – and belt had felt looser with a washboard stomach, which these days was noticeably squishier. If she had any hopes of ever getting home, though she vacillated on that topic as everything else, it would be wise to do something about that.

Nothing better to do, she took a walk around the peaceful morning of the compound. Though only half an hour before the morning bell, the training ground was cast in soft sunlit silence, broken only by the chirping of birds and the odd passage of a bee or fly. And now, by her boots meeting the dirt. In the interior, most servants and service workers were already awake and busy at this hour, so this place felt much quieter. She couldn't decide if it was peaceful or lonely.

Her eyes moved against her will toward the officer's barracks, where last night she had deposited Captain Levi. Remembering those moments with him made her feel something that wasn't necessary, so looked away with a self-critical grimace. She definitely hadn't come here for _that_.

It a was cold and boring wait for the morning bell, but finally It rang. Groggy, sore and bruised recruits and veterans ambled out of the barracks toward the mess hall, and Janice joined them. She scanned the crowd for MPs she knew and for veterans who seemed friendly. No matter how she felt about these people, it was important that she make some friends here. If she didn't, at the very least it would make things a lot harder.

Erwin sending the 104th away right now was the worst possible timing. But there was nothing she could do now. If she were lucky, orders would come in soon dispatching the whole army. Even a few units, she could sneak or bargain her way in. But before any life-threatening situations, it was important she try to make a different impression than she had yesterday.

Fortunately, as she accepted her tray of food (shitty food in comparison to what she'd had in the interior, but food), the mess hall was already starting to buzz with chatter. Something had happened, people were saying.

She searched for a group of veterans that might show the right expressions. Anxiety, impatience, confusion were all fine, but not fear or anger. She spotted a bored-looking woman with long hair, who was now and then flicking the foot that was resting on knee like a displeased cat flicking its tail, and looking off, clearly somewhere else even as her friends were discussing in hushed whispers. That would work.

She approached the table and instead whispered to the veteran's friends, "Hey…sorry, sirs," she added belatedly, still not used to being polite to anyone who wasn't a superior MP. "What's going on?"

One of them sighed, biting his lip. "Something happened last night."

"Something?"

The veterans grew quiet, exchanging glances. "You gonna spread this around?" one of them asked with suspicion.

"Not…if you'd rather I didn't. Sir," she tacked on, still rather artificially.

The bored one shrugged. "They'll make an announcement any minute anyway. Might as well tell her."

Another one of her friends nodded. "They found titans inside Wall Rose yesterday."

Janice instinctively froze in an attempt to keep the shock and fear from her face before she remembered that was a natural reaction. "You mean the wall is broken? We should be evacuating."

The first veteran scoffed. "Already looking for an excuse to run home?"

The one who'd spoken before her shrugged and said, "They looked. There was no break in the wall. And all the titans are dead, the elites took them all down last night and early this morning. But…"

"Squad Leader Mike," said the bored one, softly, her bangs falling in her face as her head lowered. As Janice looked at this person closer, she realized that those eyes that looked bored were in fact totally lifeless. They sat in her living face incongruous as metal, cold and dead. "Not just him. Gelgar. Henning. Lynne. Even Nanaba-sempai. All dead. Out there. For the crime of looking after some newbies." Those dead eyes flicked up to Janice, through the hair which darkened her whole face. "That's not the only news. There's a word on everybody's lips lately. Over and over, ever since it occurred to us that there were more than two. 'Titan-shifter'. And from what I've been hearing, more people than usual are saying it this morning. And people asking…who joined up after Maria fell?"

Janice's muscles tensed against her will, causing her fingers to tighten around her tray. Was her face still natural? She felt sweat start to form at the back of her neck, prickling at her and distracting her from her performance even further.

"Aw, you made the newbie go all pale. That's not nice, Alex," said another veteran from the next table. A tall, skeletally skinny, red-headed woman with freckles. "It's stressy being close to the exterior isn't it? It's stressy! Look at that, it makes all the blood drain from your face," she continued directly to Janice, clearly expressing the popular feeling of disdain the Survey Cops felt for the MPs.

But that was fine. Janice knew how to deal with that. "I know," she said with a wistful sigh. "It's only going to get worse, too. Looking forward to when my face cream runs out. Then we can all look pasty and pock-marked together," Janice said with a smirk and wink.

There was a moment of tense silence, then fortunately the redhead and the one called Alex both coughed up bitter laughter, even though Alex's friends looked a bit confused about whether it had been a joke or not.

"You're getting a head start with that busted nose," Alex mocked.

"Just trying to fit in. I like your scar, sir."

Alex's eyes flicked minimally toward the left half of her face, though her expression remained an ironic smile. Janice was finally able to see, while she was looking directly at her from this close, that she had a line of jagged pink, shiny flesh that stretched almost the whole distance from her temple to her chin.

"You call this a scar? You should get out more," she suggested, nodding backward toward the nearest Wall. "What's your name, chum?" The last word came out a little too strongly to be considered sincere. Possibly, in this case, it had the double-meaning of "bait".

"Janice Robin."

The one called Alex nodded. "Alexis Korhonen. This here is Nifa Smith. Liam Jacobson." She nodded to each of her friends, who in turn met Janice's gaze and nodded summarily in greeting.

"Vanessa," said the redhead loudly, who it would seem was not quite on the best of terms with Alex. "Church," she added with equal volume. A surname, presumably, though no one asked.

Alex extended her leg under the table to push out an empty chair toward Janice where she stood. "Take a seat, rookie, if you don't have somewhere to be."

Janice made an overt thinking face. "Kind offer, sir. But if I get cookies from the sempais, I fear my former cohorts will start calling me a teacher's pet. Another time perhaps."

Alex barked out another bitter laugh, exchanging a glance with Vanessa, who shook her head with a smirk. With that, Janice left them. It was better this way. She shouldn't make waves by jumping ranks yet, it would only make it harder to relate to new recruits. But instead of seeking out those she already knew from the MPs, Janice looked around until she saw some Garrison who'd been watching the interchange. She soon located a squirrel of a boy who was watching her with awe, located in between a tall boy and girl who both looked like they'd had the life sucked out of them. Perfect.

Janice approached and asked the boy with a kind smile, "Mind if I join your table?"

He shook his head vigorously. As Janice took a seat and began to eat, he murmured, "They're our sempais! How can you be so casual?"

Janice sighed around a bite of bread. "In the Survey Corps but not in life. In reality, someone's only your superior if they have power to make you suffer. And the from what I've seen so far, this whole group is too tightly knit to allow anything like that. It's something I'd keep in mind, if you ever get the urge to bully someone."

The boy blew out an incredulous breath, looking around at others nearby for confirmation. "Me? I'm more likely to receive it than give it," he chuckled, but to Janice's eyes, he looked flattered by the implication.

At that moment, the doors to the mess hall clanged open, and three older and important-looking officers entered. "Sorry to interrupt your meal, but orders have come from Commander Erwin."

In moments, the previously active mess hall became eerily still, like a scene in a painting. People didn't even bother lowering their utensils that had been in transit between their plate and mouth, they just waited there, frozen.

The officer continued, "As many of you already know from the rumors, titans were spotted inside Wall Rose yesterday." A collective gasp, even though most had heard by now. "A preliminary evacuation took place, and civilian casualties were kept to a minimum. We dispatched available troops to aid those in the affected area and to discover the point of breach." As all soldiers waited with baited breath, the officer paused. "There was none," he said with a grave expression.

"To put it bluntly, we don't know how they got in. All titans have since been eliminated, so as far as we know, our current location is in no danger. However…roughly ten minutes ago, a rider arrived with a message from Squad Leader Hanji on the edge of Wall Rose. Eren Jaeger, the titan-shifter of the Survey Corps…has been taken. He is currently outside the wall."

Janice felt a chill run up her spine, desperately trying to maintain a blank expression as emotions boiled up inside her. Was this real? Then they'd won. If they had Eren Jaeger, it was all over. She was on the wrong side of a losing war, with no way out. Might have been better to stay in the interior after all, lived a little longer. She tightened her fist on the table, her fingernails digging into her palms although she didn't notice.

"Furthermore, the ones who took him were, as Commander Erwin suspected, titan shifters like Annie Leonhardt, who infiltrated our military after the Fall of Maria. All members of the 104th cadet trainees." Janice bit the inside of her lip, closing her eyes. "Reiner Braun. Bertolt Hoover." She sighed. They'd revealed themselves. There was nothing she could do now. "You may know these names. But the human race knows them as the Armored Titan and the Colossal Titan." An echo of shock through the mess hall, and the clinking of utensils finally being set down. "Eren Jaeger engaged them in battle, along with the elites of the Survey Corps, and Jaeger lost. And was taken."

Deathly betrayal and sadness echoed through the quiet mess hall. No one seemed able to meet anyone else's gaze. As Janice had thought more than once, loyalty within the Survey Corps went beyond anything else she'd ever known. Annie Leonhardt's actions had truly injured them, and now that unshakeable trust had been shattered, and they simply looked lost. When some of the shock had faded, the officer continued, "Also taken was a person who appears to be collaborating with them for her own purposes, another who possesses this monstrous, titan-shifting ability, known only as Ymir."

At that, Janice's eyes flicked open. Had she heard correctly? She hadn't even known there was a member of the Survey Corps named Ymir. What sick naming sense. Did these people even know what it meant? Could it be…no, she wasn't about to start believing in that old religious garbage now. But she couldn't deny the fact that hearing that name at this moment sent a chill through her blood. The fact that this person was apparently a titan-shifter, and one that she knew nothing about, also sent some very unpleasant feelings through the pit of her stomach. Of course, it did now mean that eight of the nine were accounted for.

"I understand some of you trained with these people and may think you knew them. You may even have trusted them. But you must abandon such thoughts right now. Rest assured, they are your enemy."

Janice was amazed to see that many of the nearby faces looked doubtful, confused and even angry at this implication. Why were they offended by this? It was obvious they'd been betrayed all this time, and clinging to sentiment like that was only bound to hurt them later.

Apparently having expected this reaction, the officer went on, "One report mentions a statement made by Bertolt Hoover, when questioned by Eren Jaeger on why he was doing these things to us. His reply, apparently spoken without malice, was this: simply, he honestly believes that we all deserve to die."

Despite the cold feeling that sank into her chest at hearing what she already knew but tried not to think about, she took a look again at the faces around her. Not easily, but with certainty, the sadness was fading. Anger and betrayal remained, steadily taking over their hearts like a virus. As it always did. And of course, it could be just as dangerous as any other kind of sentiment, although it was easier to put to a purpose. She looked down, not interested in seeing that anymore.

"Although Eren Jaeger is believed to be alive, humanity cannot afford to wait and hope in this case. Without Eren Jaeger, we are doomed."

Yep, Janice thought bitterly, chewing on her lip.

"Commander Erwin, General Pixis and Commander Dawk have all agreed that all able-bodied troops should move out immediately in an all-division operation to reclaim Eren Jaeger. To you new recruits, I am sorry. Your first mission will be one in which death is almost certain. To veterans, you may be experienced with fear and terrible odds, but I'm sure you understand that in this case, Eren Jaeger is more valuable to humanity than any one of us."

Janice's eyes widened as she stared up at him. Not for the first time, the throat-closing fear started to rise up within her. This was going to be one of those days death would be close. She hadn't really had that many, but each had made an impression she never wished to repeat.

"No matter how many of us fall, we will go outside Wall Rose today, and we will fight against titans of unknown number and some with human intelligence. If, at the end of this day, even one of us returns with Eren Jaeger alive, it will be considered a victory for the human race. Is that understood?"

There were a scattered but definitive replies of, "Yes, sir," but only from the bravest veterans. Every single other face in that mess hall was cast pale with horror.

"Then stand up."

The veterans were on their feet. A few lowered their heads, some were shaking, some grimacing with impassioned outrage. After a delay, and one person who nearly fell when his knees gave out from under him, all soldiers were standing.

"To the last hope of the human race. Offer your hearts!"

Scattered thumps as all saluted, miming piercing their hearts for the sake of humanity. Janice stared darkly at the floor. "For the human race…" she murmured to herself, and thumped her fist against her chest.

And moments later, the mess hall was empty as they all mounted up and rode out after their commanders. The battering hoofbeats, louder but slower and surer than the ones that had gotten Janice to the Klorva gate all those years ago, beckoned a return to that terror. A return to a lot of things, perhaps, assuming she survived this day. She continued scanning the nearby riders for faces that she knew, making eye contact when she could. Some people did like her already, she could tell, but whether any would risk their life for her was something harder to know at this early stage. Truly, what terrible timing.

All Janice's memories and expectations did not prepare her for the experience of riding out of that gate to an area where titans would be. She expected the departure to be loud. Hopeful. Glorious even, in a way. And yes, there was noise. But most of it lost its meaning before reaching her ears. Instead, all her mind could focus on was the beating of her own heart, the hoofbeats over the ground, the breath of her horse. Over and over, like the drumming of an eerie song to which there was no resolution.

The moment they rode beyond the gate, though she was still in the middle of an enormous convoy, she felt as alone as she had as a child. Like the only person in the world. She felt hyper-aware of every movement she saw, though her eyes naturally scanned the distant horizon, looking out for large shapes. She pulled her reins to turn her horse's head, making sure she stayed near those confident-seeming sempais from earlier. Unfortunately, all four of them were currently increasing speed ahead of those nearby. They were heading toward the vanguard. Insanity. But apparently, that was the Survey Corps.

What happened after that would become the source of new nightmares to haunt Janice's dreams. People fell like blossoms, torn away in a storm. One after the other, practically defenseless and so vast in number. She stopped being able to tell the difference between blood, flesh, fabric and mud. Only the winged capes of the Survey Corps, with their hopeful blue and white, stood out against the dirty colors. Janice's back was bare of course, just a regular uniform. The recruits' hadn't been made yet.

No one was safe. Everyone was at the edge of death and they kept fighting anyway. The noises they made, screaming and then squishing and popping, cracking, chewing, plopping, continued echoing in her ears long afterward, until she felt they would drive her insane. Many times she found herself directly in the gaze of a titan, which then became distracted by some closer soldier who ended up dying instead of her.

They were so disgusting. So hateful. All of them, everyone. So dirty. So dismal. If this was humanity, was it even worth preserving?

Commander Smith had ordered them to ride directly into a mass of titans. She saw him charge straight at a 6-meter titan that bit right down on his arm and severed it from his body before his subordinates managed to kill it. And Erwin Smith, that bastard, he just kept urging them on. Even though every fiber of her being was screaming to run away, Janice obeyed that order. Even as one of her sempais, Liam, was grabbed right out of his saddle and dropped down a titan's throat, she kept on riding. Even as the squirrel-like boy from earlier cried and screamed for her to help him as a titan held him upside-down and bit off his legs one by one, she turned away and kept riding.

Others were abandoning their mounts for 3DMG. They were using the titans themselves to lay their lines and fly between them. That was the last thing Janice wanted to do, but there were too many titans. She might be crushed any second. She had to be more mobile.

As Alex and Vanessa propelled themselves into the air, she followed. For an instant, she felt almost blissful exhilaration. As her momentum was caught on an upswing, time slowed as titans swarmed below, little sparrows darting in among them with blue and white wings. Then a titan below yawned its mouth open as she fell toward it. She let out a short scream and laid in her line on another titan to dart quickly away. She stayed airborne and moving fast as long as she could, searching for signs of Reiner, Bertolt or Eren Jaeger. She had already made a decision about what she would do when she found him. It all depended on what state he was in.

After a near miss in which a titan fist that swung over her so fast it nearly took her head off, Janice found a gap in the swarm and tumbled to the ground to catch her breath. Her body ached from every place she hit, and she may have inhaled quite a bit of dirt as she lay there trying to restore depleted oxygen as her muscles burned. She looked up in time to see something incredible.

In the next clearing about fifty feet away, with some titans in between, a defenseless Eren Jaeger was standing protectively over Mikasa Ackerman, who'd obviously been injured at some point. Over them stood an enormous titan, easily 10-meter-class. There were dead and downed soldiers all around, no one near enough to save them.

Eren Jaeger threw his hand against the approaching titan one. He screamed one word. And the instant he did, the entire battle came to a grinding halt.

Standing over Eren, its hard reaching out and ready to crush him, the one who had become known as the Smiling Titan. But moments after this one command, it and every other titan slinked back in fear. Their heads bowed, their smiles unusually absent, they obeyed and gradually retreated.

There was some more confusion as the titan-shifters – without their army to protect them – tried to run anyway, taking Krista Lenz with them. Which was odd. But then another titan, one that Janice had never seen or even heard of by its description, a marsupial-like titan with long arms, short legs and sharp, dangerous-looking teeth, saved her. It even seemed to say goodbye. Then it joined the other two in their escape.

And so, by some miracle, a portion of soldiers had survived this massacre, Janice included. Even Erwin Smith, missing an arm, was able to ride all the way back to the gate of Wall Rose before he collapsed and couldn't be revived. But he was still alive when he fell. And still alive when they carried him to the nearest hospital. Out of everything that happened, that scared Janice the most. Was he even human?

Levi was waiting for them inside the wall. He never looked shaken, but Erwin's injury seemed to have shaken him. And then something extremely embarrassing happened. Janice took a few, shaking steps after dismounting her horse. Then her vision went black.

She woke in the medical unit of the Survey Corps, surrounded by two dozen others, most of whom would never fly again. Now and then a moan or sob would break the soft sounds of movement of doctors and visitors. Feeling sweat break out over her forehead with intense embarrassment, she pushed herself up to sitting position and looked down at her feet in shame.

"Hang on there," said a young nurse. "We need to do some checks if you hit your head somewhere."

Janice gritted her teeth. Without unclenching them she murmured, "I didn't."

"Hm?"

She clenched her fists, even as they shook. Why did she have to explain this? Why had she been taken here for such a minor problem? This wasn't just humiliating, it made terrible guilt rise up in the pit of her stomach, along with self-hatred. "I didn't hit my head," she said firmly. "I'm just a coward. I fainted. All right? Can I go?"

The nurse sighed, and she was sure she saw some disdain in his eyes for her lack of any real injury. "If you can walk out of here, go ahead. I'm not going to stop you," he said, turning away and getting back to attending other patients.

Janice sighed heavily. Even so, she still felt her hands shaking. She felt her legs might buckle if she put her weight on them. Images of death and the expressions of the titans kept flashing in her mind, blending with memories of those she'd seen as a girl. Not, as she had told Hanji, five years ago. She closed her eyes as they overwhelmed her for a moment and she lost the ability to be present in the real world.

"Hey."

Janice gasped and recoiled.

Captain Levi stood across from her, one thin eyebrow raised. "You look like you're about to shit your pants."

She sighed, resting her forehead in her hand and trying to hide the fact that it was shaking. "Hello, Captain. To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Levi looked away, toward a soldier who was sobbing, her face hidden by her arm. Her right leg, from the middle of her thigh, was only a bloody, bandaged stump. Janice realized with a horrible shock that she recognized the long hair lying beneath the soldier as belonging to Alex Korhonen. One of the bravest and seemingly invincible veterans.

 _We're all going to die._

The thought flashed in her mind for only an instant, but it was enough to send fresh adrenaline pumping through her body, sending odd shivers down her shoulders and an ill feeling to her stomach. With wide eyes, she continued staring at nothing in front of her for some time. She couldn't calm down. She tried, but the panic it just kept coming back. There was no defense against them. Leaving the walls meant death. And soon they'd break in…there was no way out.

She realized Levi had been watching her for some time. She tried her best not to let it show, but her hands were shaking at her sides.

Levi gave a diplomatic shrug. "You're not the first one to get like this the first time out."

"I'm not a child," Janice barked back. "I know I'm a coward. I don't need your pity or condescension."

The captain flicked his gaze back to her with a miniscule hardening of his eyes. "Was Nanaba a child?"

Janice covered her eyes again, understanding what he was saying but refusing to acknowledge it.

"She could barely stand after her first mission. Although she did kill a titan her first time out, saved a friend of hers too. Died protecting some dumb kids she barely knew, too. And from what I hear, you kept yourself out of danger today." He shrugged again. "You could play some of that off as still being slow from all your MP down time. But a lot of people faster than you are dead, so. 'Fast only at running away', I guess that's what they call it."

Janice's lips parted as she stared into empty space, her mind filled with the images of others dying instead of her. She hadn't intended to let them, or even cause them to die. But neither had she risked her life, or even gone out of her way, to save anyone else. There was nothing wrong with that, she had to remind herself. That's how she'd lived her whole life up until now. That was the only way she'd had to survive. What was wrong with that?

Even as she told herself all this intellectually, it didn't stop the tears that came burning from her eyes. She sobbed as she recalled that Garrison runt screaming for her to help him. She gripped her hair with a shaking hand. A strange noise rose up from her throat. Why was she still alive? What purpose did it serve for her to survive, when so many others had died?

"Captain…" she murmured. "…how can you keep doing this? Why doesn't it break you?"

Levi didn't seem to have an answer for a moment. He looked away again, eyes scanning the bodies of injured and dying soldiers all around them. "Maybe it does," he murmured.

"Huh?" she demanded.

His gaze darkened a little as his chin lowered. "Maybe you can't stay whole and keep doing this. Or maybe you have to be twisted from the start. More than a few people have said the Survey Corps is a breeding ground for monsters. Those who've been outside humanity too long and can't ever really come back." He met her gaze. She was shocked; she realized that from what she'd observed, he didn't look people in the eye very often. "How about it? Do I seem human to you? Broken or unbroken?"

Looking into his eyes, she saw genuine doubt on his own part. He'd thought about this before. Thought about it a lot. But she couldn't tell whether the answer meant anything to him anymore. And as for what her answer was…the longer she looked the less certain she became.

After a long enough pause, Levi cast his gaze down again and nodded, accepting her answer. "Anyway. You're back now. Coward or otherwise. And if you can get up, then go get the package that arrived for you recruits just this morning."

With that, Levi left her. She couldn't say how, but in some way it seemed his words had calmed the panic inside her. Despair was still there every time her concentration broke. Self-hatred too. But if he could keep going, after all he could seen, then maybe she could too. If all these people could keep fighting for each other even as their comrades died one after another, then why couldn't she? She didn't have to be one of them to copy their coping techniques.

With significantly less shaking in her legs than before, Janice made her way outside. Instead of making her afraid, the sight of the injured soldiers she passed began to make her angry. As always, in a war there was no right side. But there was always wrong. Her knowledge of what titans really were didn't change the burning rage that built up inside her about what they deserved for doing this.

She walked outside into the bright sunlight. Outside the barracks, the next building over from the clinic, a merchant had stopped his cart and had apparently emptied the contents in the bailey. Six big, wooden crates. Around them was a small crowd, a mix of recruits and veterans, all beginning to buzz with hope and expectation, so incongruous with the despair they should be feeling. Jean Kirstein, who had apparently been closest, picked up a crowbar as the merchant drove off. He opened one of the boxes, caught Janice's eye as she approached, and smirked.

"Well. They came a bit late. And there's more than we can use now, but here you go." He unfurled the first item of the contents. The blue and white wings flashed in the sunlight. "Welcome to the Survey Corps."

Along with the remaining live recruits, Janice searched through the boxes for the cloak with her name on it. She pulled it out and watched it flutter in the soft breeze. It was warm in her hands. Heavier than she'd thought, but not uncomfortably so. And the wings, her wings, were more beautiful than she had thought they would be. So now, in name if nothing else, she was officially a member of the Survey Corps.

From that day, Janice trained hard every day, and ate only what she needed to avoid losing muscle. Gradually, she felt herself getting faster and stronger, but not soon enough. The heavy losses incurred by this mission produced a cloud of anti-Survey Corps feelings among the general population, perpetuated by the Wall Sect, and also of course by the Military Police. They had never been fond of the Survey Corps to begin with, but it also seemed that – perhaps by chance and perhaps other reasons – their losses had been the greatest in the operation. It was not long after that that rumors began to circulate about Commander Erwin. That he was plotting something.

Though Janice would have been content to leave him to his plotting – it was always best to let two adversaries destroy each other if they wanted to – unfortunately, if the Survey Corps were accused of treason as a group, that would affect her too. Few things she was truly good at, but one of them was avoiding being seen if she didn't want to be. She was even better now that she was a little stronger and a little leaner. It wasn't difficult to discover where Erwin's recovery room was. So whenever she had free time in the evenings, she made it a habit to find herself hidden underneath the window of his room.

At first she overheard very little. It took him a few days to regain consciousness, so during that time she was only able to catch a few conversations between Levi and Hanji, which were nevertheless informative. And then, she could hardly believe her luck when she arrived and got settled in her hiding place as Erwin received a very important visitor.

"General," she heard Erwin say, followed by light footsteps. "Please sit down."

"You're doing better?" came the voice of one of the most experienced and powerful leader of the Garrison. A pause, followed by a contemplative noise. "You look worse."

"Forgive my appearance. It's still a bit difficult to shave."

"I imagine so. Well. What can I do for you, Commander Smith?"

And from that point, the two men began a conversation about something unbelievable. A plot to start a military coup.

Apparently, Commander Erwin had been plotting to replace King Fritz with the rightful heir to the royal family for some time (she'd known about King Fritz being a fake since her first week or so in the MPs). And he'd suspected the truth about titans ever since he was a young boy. Got his father tortured and killed for asking about it, and instead of that shutting him up as it would any normal person, it made him more determined to discover the truth. This man was truly terrifying. Levi definitely wasn't wrong about the Survey Corps being populated with monsters.

Her heart pounding as she lowered herself from her hiding place, she promised herself that whatever happened, she would not find herself an enemy of Erwin Smith. Her feet lightly touched down to the gravel of the alley behind the recovery house. She turned one way to check that no one had seen her, and was preparing to turn the other way.

WHAM!

"Khagh!" the noise she made as air rushed out of her lungs as she was slammed into the ground by a hand around her throat.

Though momentarily incapacitated in agony as she tried to restore air to her lungs, her hands instinctively grasped at the one currently holding her down by her throat. As her vision flickered red and gradually restored, her eyes widened as she recognized who had attacked her. Cold grey eyes observed her without emotion from beneath dark brows and black bangs.

Levi tilted his head as he observed her. "The science freak was right to warn me about you. It's up to you if you want to go to prison now or later. If you're ready to go now, go ahead and scream."

Janice didn't bother to hide the seething rage from her face. That was part of her character here after all, it didn't matter if she let it out now.

When he perceived she wouldn't scream, Levi nodded a little. Still without a change in his perpetually tired-looking facial expression, he continued, "Personally, I would have chosen prison over what I'll do to you if I find you're really a traitor."

Janice tightened her jaw. Perhaps she'd made a mistake. But she couldn't let him arrest her. Prison was one thing she couldn't get out of by herself, and she had no intention of going back to that hell. Would she have to kill mankind's strongest warrior? Could she, even?

"So," Levi went on. "Before we start the more colorful methods of interrogation, anything you want to tell me? Anything to justify what you could possibly have been doing listening outside Erwin's window?"

Janice's brain went through plausible answers in a fraction of a second and came up with the most likely to save her life. It came from the very fact that he was asking her this question. What an interesting and inconsistent person their captain was. Despite her dire situation, a half smirk met her lips.

"I always wondered about the rumors about you, sir," Janice managed with difficulty, her voice a bit raw. "Something about you never made sense."

Levi didn't seem pleased by her implication. "Meaning what?"

She glanced down at his hand. It was still holding her down firmly, but not restricting her breathing. Not even hard enough to bruise, although she couldn't say the same about her back. Still, she became certain she was right. "Even though almost everyone you know is rightfully afraid of you, they get deceived by the exterior. Or maybe by your monstrous nature. But in reality…there's nothing you care about more than your soldiers. Except maybe Erwin Smith."

"Correct," Levi murmured, still without a break in his expression. "And knowing my monstrous nature, what do you think I'll do to you now?"

Janice swallowed reflexively, but she smiled again. "But before doing that, you'd rather believe I didn't betray you. Because I'm one of your soldiers too."

Levi didn't answer. He let the silence hang, allowing Janice to reason out what might be the best move for her at this point.

Janice couldn't help a small scoff. "Whatever I say, why should you believe me? Just how loyal can you be before it starts to become stupidity?"

"I guess we'll both find out," Levi growled. She shivered as she saw his patience starting to fade. "Try me, titan bait. What were you doing?"

Janice looked away. With an air of resignation, she muttered, "You're telling me no one in the Survey Corps spies on each other? I see. So you're all saints in addition to being martyrs."

"You trying to say you just had a passing fancy to spy on Erwin?" Levi asked, his expression remaining cold but his tone hardening. This was about as angry as Janice had ever seen him. "On the off chance it might be useful to you in the future. You're not working for anyone?"

"Not yet."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "You must think I'm stupid. Would breaking a few fingers make you more honest?" His eyes flicked upward briefly as he considered. "Assuming I'm wrong, I shouldn't decrease our already small fighting force. You can still work 3DMG with two, I guess. What do you think?"

Janice's heart rate rose, but she kept repeating the lie in her head, imagining the life that would have made her act that way, until it felt like truth. And the truthful response that came from her was, "Maybe. But it would take a lot longer to buckle my gear." She pursed her lips with a grimace. "And I really don't want to think about going to the bathroom."

"Why should I believe you?"

"Well, good point! Why should you?" Janice snapped back. Her jaw tightened against her will. "Captain, I don't understand why we're doing this. You and I both know you have no reason not to turn me in right now. Why don't you?"

Levi seemed at an impasse with himself. His eyes glanced slowly between hers. "I don't know."

Janice tried to smile but couldn't. "How can you not know? How can you have survived this long with such a poor sense of danger?"

Levi actually took a moment to consider. "That's actually a good question. I guess, it's been a long time since I've felt the necessity to feel fear from anyone or anything." His eyes bore down into hers without feeling. "How about you? What are you afraid of?"

Janice's lip twitched in another half smile. "Everything that isn't me. Does that answer your question?"

This last statement seemed to have caught Levi by surprise, and his eyes widened just a hair as he watched her. The crease between his brows increased slightly before he apparently made a decision. He breathed out heavily. "I see," he said.

With that, he released his hand from around her neck. She watched in amazement as he stood. And then offered her a hand to help her up. Still somewhat stunned, she accepted and stood over him, watching him and waiting for the next strike to fall. Instead, in a moment that made her hand pound, he held her hand for just a few seconds longer than he needed to. Finally, he let it go.

"Fear's not bad," Levi said softly. "As long as you can stay sane with it. Treat it like a friend."

"I know," Janice replied.

He glanced up at her, though moments later his eyes darted away and he looked somewhat unsure. "At the very least, you seem to have me figured out. So you know there's only one reason to fear me." He looked down the alley and almost looked back at her again, but he seemed to have returned to his normal habit of looking near people when he spoke rather than at them. "And start reporting to me in the evenings. If you're going to spy, you'll do it for us. Not against us."

Janice barked out a laugh, even as Levi flicked one last glance back at her and walked away. When he had gone, she sighed heavily and fell back against the stone wall behind her. She placed a hand over her heart as it slowly calmed down. Yep. The Survey Corps was full of monsters. It was only a question of how much of one she'd turn into by the end of this.


	3. Red Unicorn

Chapter Three

Following his kidnapping, Eren and the others from the 104th were secluded to train and experiment in the wilderness with Hanji and be under Levi's protection. It was while they were there that they learned Hanji's new friend Pastor Nick, under the care of the MPs, had been murdered. Shortly after, thanks to Erwin's brilliant strategy, they managed to draw out some private contractors of the Military Police by allowing them to kidnap "Eren" and "Historia" (who were of course Jean and Armin in disguise). This got them both information and leverage, though at a heavy price.

But things in the interior were looking worse all the time. Levi was glad he had some very keen ears on his side. There was nothing wrong with information that came from Hanji and their subordinates, but they tended to be quite straightforward about how they got it. Levi's spy had no such qualms.

The same day they exposed and flipped Divo Reeves to their side, Levi walked outside their secluded cabin as the sun was setting over the trees. He glanced behind him making sure no crumb-crushers were following. He sat down on a stump of wood to wait for his informant.

He heard rustling in the nearby forest and looked up. An MP uniform and short, black hair emerged from the undergrowth. He might have imagined it but it looked like she might have been limping a little.

"That suits you better after all," Levi told her. "MP life seems to agree with you."

Janice's lip twitched in a cynical smirk. "I think warm baths and decent food would agree with anyone."

"Anyone without scruples, sure. How does it look?"

Janice's smirk faded. Levi felt a shiver pass down his skin. Someone as jaded as her didn't often show open emotion about things that affected other people. She took a seat on a fallen log across from him, setting one ankle on her knee with just a hint of a wince and looking off thoughtfully. "It won't go down for a few more days at least."

Levi's eyes hardened. "The coup?"

"Yeah. But that's not the problem."

"Sounds like one."

Janice chuckled, but the sound fell flat as her heart wasn't in it. "The problem is the First Interior Squad." Any trace of a smile faded as she looked hard at him. "They're nothing like the MPs you know. I've tried to learn more about them, but they are really tight-lipped and not interested in new members. Not very friendly people. But from what they're willing to let the central authorities know, and thus, what I know, it seems they're planning counter measures as we speak. Propaganda of course, they've been doing that for a while. The Survey Corps no longer has many friends inside the capitol, if it ever did."

"What else?" Levi asked in a hard tone.

She met his eyes. She couldn't keep the sadness from him, but not for herself. It was for Levi. "I only know tiny pieces. But the least I can tell you is…if they succeed in what they're doing, then before your coup ever gets legs under it, I think they'll arrest…and execute Commander Smith. And that's a best case scenario."

Cold anger filled the pit of Levi's stomach, even though he shouldn't have been surprised. Coming from her, it almost sounded like she was planning on helping. He slowly got to his feet. His eyes were shadows of hate as he whispered, "If you're making this up right now, I don't have any problem gutting you like a fish."

"Don't shoot the messenger, Captain," she told him bitterly, though she glanced down at his leg with slightly wide eyes. He hadn't even realized he'd taken his weight off it. "There aren't a lot of things that can improve the situation right now. There is one thing I can tell you that'll make it worse, and that's you – or any Survey Corps – going around taking matters into your own hands."

Levi wasn't quite able to calm his anger, but he sensed she was probably right. He refused to sit back down and instead turned away, folding his arms to try to calm the unease at his inability to act to protect Erwin in this situation. "What's your suggestion then?"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I don't think there's anything you can do."

"Fuck. That," Levi replied softly, flicking a glare down at her.

She snorted despite the danger in his voice. "I'm sure he appreciates the moral support anyway. But listen…what he has planned with Historia Reiss…"

"You're not supposed to know that name. Or that plan. I haven't even told the brats yet. I thought you were spying for us, not against us."

Janice nodded with a shrug. "I'll forget it then. Please listen to me, Captain." Levi glanced down at her. Despite her words, she still called him that the way all the Survey Corps did. In at least a small part of her, she was still Survey Corps. "I know Commander Erwin has a plan to draw out the First Interior Squad. And I don't think you should go through with it."

She scoffed, the tension in the air easing somewhat as she smirked up at him. "I'm sure you know this, but he's no shrinking violet. Losing an arm is supposed to make you kind of depressed as I understand it, but not that monster. I can't say I know exactly what you should be doing now, but at the very least I think you shouldn't worry about him."

Levi had to take his time in gauging her expression after that to see whether she had any confidence in what she was saying. He trusted this former subordinate's espionage skills but not her character. He still wondered to himself why he hadn't turned her in when he first caught her. Perhaps it was because he saw something of himself in her detachment. That and…he still sensed he was missing something about her. Something dangerous.

"Well your inexperienced opinion aside, thank you for the partial information. Anything else?" he asked.

She looked hard at him, shifting her jaw in annoyance at being unable to convince him. "There aren't many friendly places for the Survey Corps anymore. In or out of the capitol. Even the majority of people you talk to in Wall Rose talk like you're a danger. Like something needs to be done. It won't take much spark to set off the powder keg. So regardless of your orders, my suggestion is that you make an executive decision – Erwin definitely trusts you enough to let you to that – and lay low for a while."

"Lay low?"

She scratched the back of her neck and shrugged. "Keep doing what you're doing. Just don't look at anyone funny."

"You want us to go around with bags over our heads too?"

She laughed. "If it wouldn't draw attention I would say yes. Look, most people believe the battle in Stohess was a stunt by the Survey Corps to scare the interior and gain power, which is fair for them to believe because that's what it says in the newspapers."

"Lying pigs," Levi muttered.

Janice shook her head with a stony expression as she watched. "You're not naïve enough to believe that really matters anymore, Captain," she muttered. "You know truth is always relative. Fear makes even unlikely things seem plausible and facts irrelevant, and at that point people will cling to any story. Right now there are reasonable people out there who honestly believe the Survey Corps ought to be rounded up before they start an uprising. Which, in fairness, is exactly what your commander is planning to do."

Levi watched her for a time as a thought occurred to him. He glanced at her legs, one folded over the other with her foot oddly still. "No friends indeed," he muttered. "I assume our worst detractors are within your division."

Janice raised her hands in a shrug. "Bad blood dies hard. You've got to know the MPs have been waiting for an opportunity like this. Got everyone worked up into a frenzy now. Honestly, it's getting unsightly."

"Your foot bothering you?" Levi asked. "Looked like you might have been favoring it when you walked up."

Janice's expression didn't even flicker despite the sudden change in topic. "I dropped some books on it," she said dismissively, looking away. Someone used to lying about the source of injuries.

"Oh really?"

A bitter smile revealed Janice's teeth and she looked more canine than usual. "Captain, tone it down. I'm a traitor, remember? If you worry about enemies too, you'll run out of room in your head. I'm an MP for now, and I plan on remaining that way for the foreseeable future."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're transparent," he muttered disdainfully. "Stand up."

"Do what?" she asked with a confused smile.

"Up. I don't have time to wait."

With a sigh and a shrug, she rose to her feet. "Here I am. Now wh-"

He lightly slapped her stomach with the back of his hand. Janice flinched and crumpled, groaning slightly as she held her ribs.

"Either I've finally achieved superhuman strength," Levi drawled as she trembled in pain. "Or they're hitting you where it won't show. I'm not saying I do care any more for you than any other MP," he muttered softly. "But take this as advice from your sempai. You should leave before something happens. That's the wise thing to do. You've done what you can."

"Nnn," Janice growled in mild irritation as she gradually straightened, one of her eyes shut as if she'd eaten something sour. She sighed again. "Well. Thanks for the…concern?" she murmured dubiously, glancing at him. "But as it happens, I have reason to stay a little longer. Don't worry, Cap, my self-preservation instinct is stronger than any desire I have to help you. I'm sure I'll be joining you in not too long one way or the other. Worry about yourself in the meantime."

She raised an eyebrow at him, drawing in closer to murmur in an almost affectionate voice, "Don't forget, I'm still safer than any of you. Keep yourself and the kid safe. That's what will make the Commander's toil worthwhile, and maybe bring about a better conclusion than I fear."

With that, she turned and was on her way, soon vanishing into the depth of the darkening forest. Levi shifted his jaw, feeling uncomfortable about what she'd been implying. He got the impression from the subtext just now that she was worried about Erwin, and wouldn't leave until she could ensure his safety. He wasn't sure why exactly, and it was completely out of character for her as far as he knew. If that task caused her to lose her life, it would be Levi's fault for encouraging her. He closed his eyes with a deep breath, disliking this cycle of being forced to care about people whose grasp of mortality was so frail.

"Who was that?" a soft voice from just outside the cabin.

Levi turned to see Eren's dangerous friend Mikasa, standing barefoot on the stoop and holding a kitchen knife. Well that wasn't a good sign. There was murder in her eyes as well, not that that was an unusual state for her.

"That person had a Military Police uniform," she murmured with soft incredulity in her voice. "Are you betraying Eren to them?"

Levi raised an eyebrow, quite fond of people who were so honest in their bloodlust. "Nice killer instincts. But if I were, we'd all be dead. She works for me."

Whether Mikasa believed that or not wasn't clear, but she didn't change her grip on the knife. "And?"

Levi simply began to walk back toward the cabin, without taking up the threat she offered. "And little kids should be in bed. If I wanted you to know what she had to say I would have called the lot of you to listen."

"And why is there information you don't want us to know?" Mikasa demanded softly, tilting her head as the wind gently brushed her straight black hair.

"Because I'm your commander. That's how that works," he said, an explanation which didn't seem to hold much water with her. Her fingers tightened around the knife handle. As he approached the cabin, wary of the distance between his body and her knife but not showing it, he said, "You have a choice of whether to trust me or not, you know, Miss Homicidal Intent. But being in doubt for too long will get you chasing ghosts, so I don't recommend it. Come inside."

She watched him as he passed her. As he came close, she whispered, "Someday I think I'll kill you."

Levi sighed, stopping outside the door. "Coming from you, that's quite disturbing. Don't worry. If the time comes, I'll gladly let you do it. As long as it saves that brat."

Without waiting to see her reaction, he went inside. He heard the door close behind him soon after, as well as the soft, metallic sound of a knife sliding back into a wooden holder on the counter. But thinking about Mikasa's gaze just now, he couldn't help a little shiver. He couldn't let his guard down around a bloodhound like that. It was quite fortunate Eren had such a protector. But that kind of devotion also needed to be tempered with rationality or it would quickly become destructive.

The next day, it was time to get to work moving forward with Erwin's plan, despite Janice's warning. Levi would trust Erwin over her any day. Levi removed his gloves as Djel Sannes continued sobbing over the teeth Levi had forcibly removed. Levi scowled at the specs of blood on his hands and clothing, which disturbed him far more than the captured MP's screams had done. Hanji, on the other hand – who had been under significantly more stress than usual after the death of Pastor Nick – had gone all the way into their freak mode as they listened to Sannes confess everything about his blood-stained life and the evil he had done in the name of the true royal family.

"I'll leave him to you," Levi said over his shoulder as he left, letting the door to the basement slowly close behind him as Hanji approached one of those responsible for torturing and killing her strange new friend.

When Levi emerged from the basement, they met a lot of drawn and pale, horrified faces. He ignored them. Instead, he sent out some messengers to assemble everyone who needed to hear the information they had discovered and the new plan they had to implement. By the time they arrived, including the Reeves family, Hanji had finished their business with Djel Sannes and joined them.

"Did you kill that man?"

The question had been posed by Mikasa. Though her question had come out of curiosity to Levi's eyes, there were several faces that said the answer would provoke outrage. Levi chose to pretend he hadn't heard. They had enough to deal with.

He had Nifa explain everything that had happened and what Erwin's orders were going forward. Historia's reluctance to rule as Erwin needed her to was just about the most irksome development that Levi could imagine, even though he preferred her new, more believable character. So with some reluctance from the newbies, they used Dimo Reeves to arrange an exchange with the First Interior Squad. Money for Eren and Historia. And no tricks this time, it would have to be the real thing or this plan didn't stand a chance.

But in the end, it might have been wise to heed Janice's warning.

Levi was not aware as they followed the captured Eren and Historia that Dimo Reeves had been killed back in the forest, or who had killed him. But as he and Nifa waited on a rooftop, thinking they had all members of the First Interior Squad under surveillance, he instinctively ducked for his life when he caught a flash in the corner of his eye. Nifa's head exploded behind him.

In shock, Levi watched as a ghost from the past, Kenny the Ripper, appeared, aiming two guns at Levi's head. "Hey, Levi," he said with a grin.

Levi could only run for his life for the next few seconds, dodging those explosive gun shots. The rest of his squad was not so lucky. But when he had a moment to absorb what had just happened, after having just watched his entire unit murdered, his body filled with rage and he accepted the reality of who was doing this to them.

He drew his blades. "Kenny!" he roared.

Though Levi soon realized he had no chance against Kenny in these circumstances, it took every ounce of self-restraint not to try to kill him then and there. But there was no time for being ruled by emotions right now. This was probably the greatest danger he or the Survey Corps had ever faced, and at this point anyone surviving would be a plus.

After narrowly escaping the bar he holed up in to avoid Kenny, and not without injuries and killing a lot of human beings – something Levi hadn't done for many years now – Levi made it back to the remaining living members of his squad and ordered them to retreat. He caught Mikasa's unspeakable fury toward him at the fact that they had lost Eren and Historia, but didn't have time for that either. In the process of escaping, that smart kid Armin was forced to shed human blood to save the tall one, Jean. There would be time to deal with that later.

They ran until they couldn't anymore, and then they stopped in an abandoned cabin for the night. As the potato girl stitched up some of Levi's injuries, he couldn't stop thinking about Eren, Historia and what would have become of Erwin at this point. It was hard to think of a worse situation than this one. The fact that Kenny, the closest thing Levi had known to a father, was currently doing his utmost to kill them all and destroy the last hope of the human race, as well as the fact that the First Interior Squad had "anti-personnel weaponry," were practicalities that he couldn't quite wrap his head around yet. After a tense evening trying to help that kid Armin recover from the horror of what he had done, they went to sleep that night with a strict watch schedule. Before he slept, Levi wondered if Janice would bother trying to find them tonight, but soon realized that was unlikely.

And so they began their guerilla war against their own people, all the while fighting among themselves about what they had done and whether it was worth it. The next day, they happened upon two MPs who had obviously been sent into the forest to find them. Levi and Mikasa made short work of their capture.

They clearly weren't happy about it, and Levi had no real attachment to the lives of these two, but he realized quickly that they were new recruits and knew very little about the ways of their superiors. Killing kids like that didn't suit him. To save his own, he wouldn't blink to do it, but there was the fact that members of his squad were currently questioning the morality of what they were doing. All in all, it seemed like a good idea not to kill anyone right now.

After a brief exchange in which Levi answered their concerns about what was happening beyond their own awareness, the topic of Annie Leonhardt brought his mind back to something that had been bothering him.

"What unit are you with?" Levi asked them.

"The 89th…" the tall boy with a bowl cut answered.

"Is that in Stohess?"

"Yes…"

"Then you should know a sempai who quit to join the Survey Corps and then came back. Black hair, about this high," Levi gestured a few inches above his own head, "Janice Robin."

The boy went a bit pale and quickly looked away. "I haven't…seen her. Not for a while."

Levi nodded. That was bad news but he expected it. "And if MPs like you step out of line, where would they go?"

To Levi's surprise, the unusually honest boy willingly described a location where any misbehaving MPs would receive disciplinary training, while stressing the fact that he had never been given that treatment himself. Levi had an image in his head of the MP headquarters and was fairly certain he knew where the boy was talking about. He was not so sure about his ability to sneak in and out undetected. But he had a sinking feeling that if he wanted to see Janice alive again, this would be his only chance.

"Sasha," Levi said, having recently remembered her name. "Tie these two up and take them far enough away that they can't track us."

The potato girl looked somewhat shaken, glancing between Levi and the MPs, but she obeyed. Jean offered to take them instead. Pleasantly surprised, since Jean had been one of Levi's biggest critics for his cruelty until this point, Levi agreed. As soon as they were gone, after a moment of thought, Levi said, "I'm going out for a bit."

"You're what?" Mikasa demanded softly. Her hand was resting on her blade.

"I have some business. It shouldn't take long." As he left, he said over his shoulder, "If I don't come back, listen to whatever Armin says."

Though he knew well that this was utterly stupid, they had bigger fish to fry and others who needed and deserved rescuing more, this one could be considered directly his fault. He also told himself that his niggling feeling about not being able to figure this girl out was worth pursuing, but in reality he felt some of his guilt at being unable to save Petra merging with new things he had been feeling, much as he tried to pretend that wasn't the case.

He passed through the gate of Wall Shina by hiding under a carriage, and got off when he saw a familiar alley. He hoped she would be in a state to move on her own, but if not, their only option for leaving the interior might be 3DMG over the wall. For many reasons, he would rather not do that.

He managed to make his way to the MP headquarters undetected. He spotted the building that kid had described. It was nondescript on the outside, but like everything the MPs did, the inside apparently didn't match the image. Levi watched the entrance for at least an hour to determine if there were any sort of regular watch. But – perhaps with the majority engaged in searching for the Survey Corps – he saw no one enter or leave the building in that time. He decided to take his chances.

He kept an eye out for any angles from which he might be seen, making sure there were no eyes in them, and approached the entrance. Of course it was locked. He sighed. As quietly as possible, he kicked the lock until the wood broke free. He hurried inside and closed the ruined door behind him.

It was very dark inside this building. There were windows high up, but they were tiny, not big enough to let enough air in to banish the dank smell of mildew and old blood. It felt bad breathing it. Once his eyes adjusted, he saw the inside of this building was partly storage, but further back there were definitely bars of cell doors. He moved toward them.

Most of the cells he walked past were empty. He was almost to the end now, and starting to become nervous that this had been a trap by that bowlcut kid, and Janice had never been here to begin with. But he came to the last one and swallowed a gasp of shock as he found what he was looking for.

A single soldier was lying in the corner of the cell, her feet facing the door. It looked like her hands were chained behind her back. He couldn't see her face from this angle, but she wasn't moving. He ran back to the other end of the building, looking for a place where keys might be kept. He found it, a box hanging on the wall with several sets of cell keys and handcuffs. It would seem that the MPs didn't anticipate a lot of rescue attempts among their own troops. Surely, there was a lot more psychological pressure going within this division on than Levi had assumed previously.

He opened the cell and knelt beside her, growing more and more afraid as he got a better look at her pallid, pained expression and motionless body. But it looked like she was still breathing. "Janice," he said softly, touching her shoulder.

She didn't move.

He shook her. "Janice," he said, louder.

To his relief, her eyes opened a little. They were red and bloodshot as if she'd been crying or hadn't slept for a long time. She drew in a sharp breath through cracked lips, trying to look up at him but unable to lift her head. When she recognized him, her eyes grew moist and a tear dripped down across her nose.

"Captain…" she said in a creaking, barely audible voice.

"Hang on. We're going."

He crossed behind her to uncuff her hands, and recoiled as he thought he might be seeing things. A red unicorn instead of white. He realized that almost all the clothes on her back were stained with blood. On top of which, he'd noticed a terrible smell toward this part of the building but only now realized it was coming from festering flesh. His hands froze in fear. If there were an infection, would she die if he moved her? But she would die if he didn't. He had no choice.

He uncuffed her hands as she whimpered weakly. "Captain…" she murmured.

"Don't talk." He uncuffed her and tried to lift her. He got her to a seated position but then she weakly pushed him back.

"Stop," she said, to his surprise.

"You going to make me?" he asked her sarcastically.

She weakly pushed him back again. Her eyes stared blankly in front of her. She was already losing energy just from this much movement. "Thank you," she murmured. "For coming to get me." As she started to cry again, she struggled to continue, "I didn't…think anyone would…so thank you. I'll be okay now so please leave."

"What nonsense are you saying now? We don't have a lot of time, so save it for later."

"I'm free. You got me out. Please get somewhere safe before they find you."

Levi scoffed bitterly. "You've changed your mind? I thought you were serious about joining the Survey Corps."

With difficulty, she managed to meet his eyes. She even gave a bitter laugh. "Happy to hear the offer's still open. But please. Captain. I'm not getting out of Stohess like this. If something…" she swallowed hard and when she spoke again, her voice was raspy from dehydration, no doubt. "…happened to you…I wouldn't want to."

He felt a sharp twang pass through his chest as he watched her weakly clinging to life. "You get tortured just a little and suddenly you care about others? What a weird personality." On an impulse that surprised even himself, he leaned in close to her and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. She made a noise of distress and closed her eyes as more tears ran down her face.

"The only option to escape the MPs without leaving Shina is the Underground," he told her with soft certainty. "And believe me, you're not going to make it there either. If you want to live, then we've got to get to Rose."

Without waiting to hear further argument, he took both her arms and wrapped them around his neck from behind, causing her to flinch and whimper. "Hold on," he said, then grasped her thighs around his waist, lifting her onto his back, and quickly moved back toward the door.

"Captain…if you die it's not worth it…" she whispered as he carefully checked to make sure no one was watching.

"Do you want to die here?" he demanded coldly.

"You came for me…Captain…don't stay here…" she murmured.

She was delirious, he realized. She might even think this was a dream. But her arms still clung to him with an impressive will to survive, making his heart ache as he carried her. He wasn't fond of any kind of weakness, but a desire to live even when the body wanted to give up was something he frankly couldn't help but love.

He headed closer to the gate until he found a suitable carriage that seemed to be heading toward it. He used 3DMG to fly, Janice and all, into the driver's box and flashed his blade underneath the man's neck.

"I'm not sure I need to say this out loud," Levi drawled to the terrified man's face, "but this is a hijacking. What's your cargo?"

"F-…f-…"

"F?" Levi sneered, impatiently.

"Fruit."

"Well in that case, allow me to introduce my friend, Banana," Levi said, nodding over his shoulder.

"You're not funny," Janice mumbled.

"And you're going to carry us into Rose or I'll split you cleanly down the middle." Levi said, lifting the man's chin with the dull side of his blade. "How does that sound?"

The man took one look between Levi's dark gaze and the perfectly still blade beneath his neck and nodded.

Levi carried Janice to the back of the cart, where he lifted the tarp to shift around enough fruit to make room for her. He gently set her down, then partially buried her until she wouldn't be visible to a cursory inspection.

"You going to die in the next half hour or so?" Levi asked her.

"…hm…it smells good here," she murmured blearily.

"Good enough."

Levi re-covered the fruit and Janice with the tarp, had one final word with the driver to firmly put the fear of god into him, then hid himself under the driver's box and told him to go. Again, thanks to the more diligent members of the MPs being assigned to search for the Survey Corps, the guards at the gate were not that interested in this fruit merchant. After just a few tense moments, they got through the gate. Once he deemed they would be out of sight of any MPs, Levi pulled himself up into the driver's box. The man jumped and glanced sidelong at him, gauging him to see if he would attack.

"We're out…" the merchant said. "Will you let me go now?"

Levi sighed, watching the distant forest. "Thing is, it would help me out a lot if you got us a little closer to where we're going. Hey, invalid. Doing okay back there?"

"…not really…" Janice managed.

"Well if start to die, don't answer next time. Take us about a mile outside of town," Levi continued to the merchant. "Oh…and I know your face now. So if you tell anyone you saw us, I'll make sure to hunt it town and slice it off. Clear?"

The man sighed. "I'd like just one day where something shitty didn't happen in my life."

Levi raised an eyebrow. "Welcome to the human race."

When they reached a place far enough from anyone else and still nowhere near where Levi's squad was hidden, Levi had the merchant stop his cart. He got out and carefully uncovered Janice, who wasn't responding much now. Her forehead and cheeks were red and her lips pale, and Levi's stomach lurched as he realized that all this movement must have caused the infection to spread through her blood. She was now hot to the touch.

He lifted her onto his back and began walking toward the woods. "Have a nice day," he told the merchant.

"Yeah fuck you," replied the man, snapping his reins and heading back toward civilization.

Levi ran into the woods, as fast as he dared without jarring her much. It took about half an hour to reach their hideout again. Levi noticed that Jean was nursing a head wound and the two MPs he was tasked to deal with were sitting among them like friends. The others of his squad looked on in shock as he asked if anyone knew how to treat infection.

"We…need medicine," Armin murmured, still somewhat in shock. "And we need to clean the…oh my god…" he whispered as he spotted the back of Janice's clothes.

"I know Hanji brought some medicine when we left the cabin. It would still be with the wagon," Levi said, walking down toward the nearest river. "I'll go wash the wounds out. Get it ready."

Though no one seemed quite sure what to think about this, Armin ran off in the direction they'd hidden the wagon.

Levi soon reached the river. He set Janice down on the bank.

"Can you undress yourself?" he asked her.

But as she sat there slumped over one knee, she only managed to lift her head enough to shake it a little.

"Then I'm sorry. Just as well. This unicorn doesn't suit you anymore."

With gentle but efficient movements, he stripped off the blood-soaked clothes one layer at a time. He pretended not to notice the profusion of wounds, not just on her back, but practically every part of her upper torso that he could see. Some very old, but many new. When he got to her shirt, Janice started flinching and holding back cries of pain when he tried to peel it back. He offered her the edge of his cloak to bite down on, which reluctantly she did.

"Hang on," he murmured.

In one motion, he ripped the fabric off her back, exposing what looked like dozens of lash marks. Some of them seemed partly healed, meaning they'd done this for at least several days. Janice managed to keep the noise she made to a strangled rasp of breath instead of a scream, though her face was red and tears ran down her face. But the next moment, her body went limp and her head thumped onto Levi's shoulder. So much the better. Carefully, and while trying to prevent her from falling over, he removed his own cloak, jacket and shirt and set them neatly on the bank. Then he leaned in close and let her head rest on his shoulder again.

"Hang on to me," he said, encouraging her arms to circle around his neck.

She hesitated for a moment, panting and seeming not quite aware of what was happening. But eventually she lifted one arm and then the other around his neck. He lifted both her legs under one arm and carried her down toward the water.

She seemed to wake up at the sound of water splashing around Levi's legs. She shivered. "I'm probably going to scream this time," she murmured.

"Do what you like."

Slowly, he lowered her into the cold water.

"Nnnnnngh!" she screamed into his chest, burying her head there. Her body came alive as the pain sent adrenaline coursing through her system, and her fingers bit into Levi's body as if to scratch all the way through his clothing. "Nn…nnnh…NNNNGH!" she cried, as he finally submerged them both up to their shoulders.

She sobbed into his shoulder as, gently as he could, he ran his hands over the wounds and removed some infected and dead skin, along with a few traces of fabric. When he finally finished, she clung to him and sobbed just a little more, then began to grow limp again.

"Captain," she murmured, as he pulled her slowly from the water.

"Yeah?"

"…sorry for causing you…so much trouble…"

He sighed. "Really."

He set her on the bank and covered her bare skin with his own shirt, jacket and cloak just as she started to shiver. And with that, as she was at least safe for the moment, Levi was unable to stop himself from letting a tide of emotion loose. He clasped her cheek in his hand and pressed his forehead to hers, closing his eyes. He realized his own hands were shaking. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, though immediately felt guilt fill up his stomach afterward. It really wasn't fair to do that to someone when they were half delirious. Especially when he remembered it was his fault she was like this.

"Well now dying seems like a shame," she muttered with a smirk.

"That's the idea," Levi replied, with a touch of annoyance at her underwhelming reaction.

When he brought her back to the camp, he handed her over to Sasha and Armin to treat. "Well, I hope you're all rested," he said to the others, whom he now observed included the MPs that Jean was supposed to have killed earlier. "Tonight we're going to raid the First Interior Unit to find out where they're keeping Eren and Historia."

"Finally," Mikasa replied, shouldering her gear. "And it's fair to assume you didn't bring that MP here to betray us, right Captain?"

Levi glared at her in exhausted irritation. "You and I both need to work on whom we trust. That said, don't go telling her everything. She's a spy and definitely not trustworthy."

"Well thanks for bringing her here, then" Jean muttered irritably as he gathered his own gear, still holding his head.

"Don't dilly-dally," Levi said to the group. "One down, two to go."

His squad collectively nodded, somehow having come together better than they had before by what had happened today. This rescue had gone well, but the next one would definitely not be so easy. If nothing else, it would require facing Kenny again, as well as that terrifying anti-personnel gear. This sorry remains of the Survey Corps now had their backs to the wall. But Levi wouldn't rather be in this situation with anyone else. The ragtag team stalked through the night to find the base based on the bowlcut's information, and began their counterattack.


	4. You're Dangerous

Chapter Four

Though almost everyone was prepared to leave right then and there, the one called Marlow convinced them to wait until he and Hitch could spread false information about their whereabouts among the MPs. This would help them to have the element of surprise against the First Interior Squad. So they settled down for another night in the forest, with Levi impatient and Mikasa looking more than usually ready to murder someone.

Janice wasn't conscious of most of this. She honestly wasn't sure until she hit the water that she'd really been rescued and hadn't just dreamed it. On the one hand, it meant her performance as the loyal spy had paid off. On the other, no one had ever gone so far for her before. In her semi-conscious state, she was pretty sure Levi had kissed her. That felt far too good. She knew better than to let temporary feelings interfere with survival, but she was aware she definitely didn't feel nothing for him.

Some members of Levi's squad had lain her down on a blanket on the ground, her back exposed so they could tend it. Once they gave her some water and medicine, she felt much better than she had before, but the pain started to feel fresh as dead flesh was cleaned away to let the new start to heal. She slipped in and out of consciousness as a way to escape the pain and fever that still hadn't quite subsided.

"Can you eat something?"

Janice blinked her eyes open. The person who'd asked the question was one she recognized; Armin Arlert. He was one of the ones she attempted to avoid at all times. He was too sharp and likely to pick up on the smallest mistake. He was the one who had exposed Annie, after all. But, well, as long as she didn't talk too much it should be all right.

She nodded and struggled to prop herself up on her forearms, though this action in itself already had her shaking with pain, and accepted soup he fed her. When she'd had at least enough to take an edge off the hunger, she slumped back down, panting from exertion.

"Thank you," she said, closing her eyes briefly and trying to give the impression of being sleepy to avoid conversation.

But Armin paused, looking down at the remains of the soup with a difficult expression. "Captain Levi tells me you came from Quinta District," he said, shooting straight for a difficult question while ignoring her attempt to dodge through sleep. "Where they had the rebellion against the king after the Fall."

Janice looked up at him with a hesitant smirk. "And you from Shiganshina. We have something in common."

Armin didn't seem interested in relating, however. "The captain also said you're a spy," Armin went on, sending blood pumping through Janice's veins as her heartbeat quickened.

She sighed. "I'm not sure he quite understands my function. I'm a lot less effective if he goes around telling people."

"Something that should only bother you if you intend to spy on us too."

Janice couldn't help but smirk, realizing it had only taken him approximately three sentences to catch her in a mistake, albeit a small one. "Nobody is on my side but me," she answered truthfully. "I don't pretend to understand the trust you Survey Corps have for one another."

"Yet you expect us to trust you?"

"That's up to you. Like the captain says, you don't have to tell me anything. Then again," she met his gaze with a kind smile. "You don't seem like the type who's easily deceived. Do I seem like someone who means you harm?"

Armin took his time deciding an answer to that, gazing hard into her eyes. "Not…unless you have to. That's how you seem to me."

Janice's smile faded. Just how perceptive was this kid?

"Armin," Levi's cold voice from across the fire. From fear of more pain, Janice didn't turn to look and simply waited until the captain joined Armin beside her. "It's late. Get some rest," he said, and flicked his chin toward where the other squad members were already bedding down. Reluctantly, and with a last glance at Janice, Armin nodded and left. Levi's black eyes flicked down to her with what might have been mild disapproval.

"You sleep too. Your back's a festering mess," he said.

Janice chuckled. But abruptly she asked, "You're going after the First Interior Squad tomorrow?"

"Problem?"

Janice shook her head a little. "I was thinking…I know casualties are inevitable in this situation, but it would make a statement…if you didn't kill any of them."

Levi scowled down at her with the upper half of his face darkened by incredulous anger. "Fascinating," he growled down at her. "You, a proven traitor with split loyalties between them and us, are lying here with injuries we spent a lot of effort to not let kill you, injuries inflicted by the people we're talking about, people who stole Eren and Historia, arrested Erwin and are trying to eliminate the human race, and suggesting I not kill them? Because I need another reason not to trust you?"

"Oh I think that ship has sailed. Sweet though," Janice muttered, laughing and immediately regretting it as pain from her back shook through her. "I'm making a suggestion because it will work, and I think you're clever enough to realize that. It will change people's minds about you if you make the rest of your coup with no deaths. Say you incapacitate them somehow. There are ways you could do it so they'll never be able to hurt you again, but still be able to live their lives and even have children, keeping the human race alive. But besides that…"

She flicked her gaze as far as she could without jarring her back in moving her head toward the other soldiers, then back up to Levi. "Did I sense a little tension in this group about unnecessary killing?" Levi flicked a glare down at her at that, but refused to acknowledge whether she was right. She smirked. "Pluses and no minuses, if you asked me."

Levi gave a long sigh and at the end of it, placed a hand atop her head. "I'll think about it. Settle down now."

She smiled up at him as his hand lowered from her hair. Even though it hurt, she couldn't resist the urge to reach out for that hand, clasping his palm and fingers. He glanced down at their hands. She gently squeezed his, though she couldn't stop her own hand from shaking. He seemed unsure, took a breath as if he would make some objection to what she was doing. But then his mouth closed. Instead, he shifted his hand so it cradled hers and she didn't have to lift it.

"There are a lot more productive things I could be doing right now," he murmured softly, so even the nearby soldiers couldn't hear.

Janice closed her eyes, but she didn't move to let go of his hand. "I'm sorry. You don't have to stay."

Levi sighed. After a moment, she heard him shift beside her. When she opened her eyes, he was lying down beside her, still holding her hand. In spite of the tenderness of this gesture, he frowned hard at her. Then again, he rarely appeared to make any other expression, so it may not have been displeasure.

"I can't shake the feeling that you're dangerous," Levi muttered, glancing between her eyes. "What are you planning to do to us?"

Janice let out a soft scoff, even as a fissure of pain cracked through her chest. She felt her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks as she held back the urge to cry. She had no right to be hurt for being suspected of something she'd done before, even if she had no such plans now. "I'm sorry I'm not more trustworthy. I wish I could make you believe that I couldn't hurt any of you."

He raised a hand to gently stroke her hair, though still his brows were creased with concern. "I believe you would hurt anyone in order to survive."

"…not anyone."

Levi's cold eyes softened as they observed her expression. She didn't need to act. The trembling in her hand increased as she realized that even if her life depended on it, she wasn't sure she could hurt Captain Levi. It was his eyes; they had been hardened by things he had had to do, but shared the same pain she had felt as a child. And when she'd heard his voice in that cell, felt his hands bring her back to life, she felt like she'd lost something important. If she had to leave him now…how much would it hurt? How much more of this could she take before she had to run away from this feeling?

This thought made her close her eyes and unconsciously hold tighter to his hand. His free hand stroked her hair again. She heard him shift and the space beyond her eyelids grew dark as he drew closer, blocking the firelight. His lips softly touched hers. Her eyelashes fluttered; she hadn't imagined it, he had kissed her earlier too. She sank into this sensation as sweet warmth spread through her chest, momentarily erasing all sensation of pain on her back.

Levi lay back down beside her, still holding her hand, but now closing his eyes as if he intended to sleep there. Janice shivered as she realized how much it hurt just feeling so good with someone else. Especially one she couldn't keep. She fell asleep that night trying to remember the warmth of his hand.

…

"We're going to directly confront Kenny and whatever's left of the Reiss family," Levi said on the afternoon of the next day, mostly to the rest of the squad. Then to Janice specifically he added, "So nobody can babysit you. You're going to have to not die or get captured in the meantime."

Janice rounded a glare up at him, still unable to move much. She flipped her palms up in exasperation. "Which you suggest I do by telepathy?"

He ignored her. "Hanji should be back a couple of hours from now. Let's have some good news ready for them then. Any qualms about what we're about to do?"

"We're only inflicting disabling damage, right Captain?" came the small, clear voice of Armin.

Levi watched him, conscious of the fact that he was not the only one who was scared of confronting Levi but still wanting to confirm that fact. "If you think you can without endangering yourself or anyone else, yeah. That's the idea."

Armin nodded, a little relieved but clearly still coming to terms with what he had done in the name of their cause.

Jean, beside him, seemed to approve. Maybe having a gun in his face made a difference to the degree of his loyalty, or maybe he trusted Armin more than most after what happened. He tightened one of the buckles of his gear. "We're ready, Captain."

Levi nodded tightly, turning and walking the way Marlow had directed them, without even giving an order, or glancing back at Janice. He trusted that his squad would follow him without orders. And he trusted that Janice would find a way to survive. That quality about her made his chest feel painfully pleasant, even though he couldn't shake the feeling she was trouble.

…

About half an hour after they left on their mission, Janice opened her eyes to gaze at the forest floor around her with a sigh. It was very quiet here, probably more than any place she had been in her life. She had a brief thought that she hoped there weren't any bears or wolves.

Her back still hurt like hell, but at least she could think clearly now. But the thought that kept coming to her was not a pleasant one: this wasn't going to work. Being so vulnerable out in the woods like this wasn't a terrible thing, she'd been in tougher spots before, but her being injured, how quickly events were moving in the interior, combined with these new feelings were making her question the way she lived her life and that did not feel right. More than anything, the way she felt about Captain Levi was dangerous.

"Stupid," she told herself. "Just because he was a little nice to you, you forgot what people are like?" The image of her parent's faces when she last saw them flashed through her mind. It brought with it the familiar sickness and fear. She glanced toward the ground. "Nobody needs that."

With great difficulty, she managed to pull herself up to a seated position. She had to stay there for a while as the pain calmed down. But the hardest part was next. She reached to her right for a bag of medical supplies that the others had left. Carefully, she searched for two things: bandages and pain suppressants. Having taken a good quantity of the first, she got to wrapping the second around her back and chest. When both these things were done, it still hurt but it wasn't taking up all her thinking power. She got to her feet and slowly left the forest in search of a horse to steal.

…

After successfully completing the mission to disable the First Interior Squad, and rendezvousing with Hanji, they began the very risky and emotionally taxing mission to rescue Eren. And although no one beside Hanji was seriously hurt, having to kill other human beings in such a chaotic situation really took a toll on many of the soldiers. Finding him chained like that had sent Levi's heart plummeting as he assumed he was dead at first. But by some miracle, they managed to inject Eren with the hardening serum and he saved them from the collapsing cave caused by the sudden appearance of Rod Reiss's titan.

It happened that, in the span of that one evening to the dawn of the next day, Levi had approximately three moments when he believed that he as well as everyone he still knew and cared about would die. It was a sustained feeling of dread in each one of those occasions, with little resolution. Missions outside the walls were rarely long enough to provoke that kind of sustained psychological torment, so it was hard on everyone, Levi included. But in spite of that feeling, he still had to deal with brats.

And even as Historia threw his own words back at him about having a choice to run or fight, he was conscious of the fact that – somewhere out there, whether in the path of Rod Reiss' enormous titan or not he had no idea – Janice was stranded alone. Based on her injuries, he wouldn't expect her to be able to move. But then again, he and Erwin had gotten themselves into enough trouble by now underestimating their enemies, and a deep part of him still said that's what she was. There was still something he was missing. Something about her behavior that didn't match with anything that she said she was. But he had to admit, that was part of what attracted him to her.

If she could move, however, he expected she would have tried to find them. If she couldn't move, she was either safe or dead, and there was no point worrying about it now when there was nothing he could do. But what if the answer was neither? Say she could move, and chose to go somewhere on her own instead? A brief moment of freedom when no one knew where she was, where would she choose to go? The one thing Levi knew: if she showed up after this somewhere she wasn't expected to be, his suspicion would be justified.

After that, Levi was unable to think about anything other than the enormous, faceless, burning titan trying to break down Wall Sina. In the end, Historia was able to settle the score with her messed up father, making herself the true and unquestioned queen. It was something to see. Levi was quite happy to receive the punch she returned to him for his rough treatment of her before the incident. Even though there were still many questions unanswered, this was the most peaceful Levi had felt for a long time. Everyone he cared about was safe. They need not fear the Military Police anymore, or the Reiss family. But on that thought, he realized there was at least one question that needed answering soon.

While the Garrison and MPs got to work fixing the damage done by Rod Reiss, Levi and a few able-bodied members of the Survey Corps returned to the church in search of any survivors of the First Interior Squad. With things as they were now, Levi didn't really care what happened to any of them, but he had to make sure Kenny was dead. Unfortunately, he wasn't. But clearly not for lack of trying.

Levi's subordinates alerted him to where they had already found him. Levi had a moment of shock that they had managed to capture him, but then he saw why. With two rather dumbfounded Survey Corps standing several meters away from him, the formerly peerless murderer and likely the most deadly human being alive currently sat nearly motionless at the base of a tree. He was panting in obviously terrible pain, half his face and body burned to the point of melting. He'd been too close when Rod Reiss transformed.

Levi could see at once that he didn't have long. With a strange sense of loneliness, even though he should have felt satisfaction, Levi knelt beside the man who had taught him how to survive the worst of humanity.

"Are there any more, or are you the last one?" Levi asked him, ignoring those old feelings in favor of his current duty to Erwin and the others.

Kenny tried to grin up at him, but was halted by pain. He laughed and it became a painful cough. "Probably."

Levi glanced up at his subordinates, not really wanting anyone to see his final interaction with Kenny Ackerman. He gestured for them to move off.

"Captain…" one objected.

"Go."

Reluctantly, the few nearby soldiers moved away, giving them some privacy. With a shaking hand, Kenny produced a suitcase, which he had apparently taken with him out of the church even as he faced death. Though Levi prepared himself in case it was a weapon, when Kenny opened it, the only contents appeared to be a bottle and syringe.

"Look what I got," Kenny told him, smirking.

Levi shrugged questioningly, this meaning nothing to him. "Well don't keep me in suspense," he muttered.

"If you inject this in your arm, you can become a titan. What do you think?" Kenny asked, his remaining eye glinting in dark pleasure. "Mankind's strongest warrior would make one hell of a titan, I bet."

Levi eyed the bottle with utterly no emotion. He knew somehow that was not for him. For one thing, the idea of injecting something of unknown origin into his body was simply nauseating. "I'm good," Levi told him. "You would have gotten more use out of it than me. Why didn't you use it before you were more messed up?"

Kenny started to laugh, but his smile faded. "Drunk on my own abilities, maybe. Don't want to end up like one of those things. Arrogance, that's my drug. Everyone's got their own addiction, don't they? Even Uri did."

"Uri?"

Kenny sighed. "Oh, you know. The last king of this shitty country. There's the addictions society doesn't like. Power, money, sex, drugs. But what isn't a drug? If it helps people, but it kills you, it's still a drug right? Altruism is the worst kind of drug."

"You knew the last king?" Levi demanded softly.

Kenny's smile faded as he watched Levi with some emotion Levi found difficult to name. "You and me…everyone with Ackerman blood," he murmured. Levi's eyes widened. "We have targets on our backs. The royal family is afraid of us, because of what we can do. Because we don't forget."

"I didn't know your last name until one of your men told me," Levi murmured. "So we are related after all?"

Kenny cast his gaze away bitterly. "Yeah. Kuchel was my sister." He laughed, but blood dripped from his mouth and he had to rest for a moment afterward. "I guess that makes me your uncle. Uncle Kenny. Kenny the Ripper. Hah."

Levi had many questions for this man, but at the moment, only one he really cared about. "So we are family," he murmured. "In that case, why did you abandon me?"

Kenny watched Levi with a strange smirk, his eyes starting to lose the life in them. "You would have wanted a parent like me?"

Levi sighed. "To be honest, no."

With great difficult, and as more thick, partly coagulated blood emerged from his mouth, Kenny slid the case over to Levi. "Use it in good health. See you on the other side…Levi."

Levi watched as the last breath drained from Kenny's body. In death, he looked softer than he had in life. And sad, as if in defeat. Unlike the titans who faded to bones and nothing, the way humans died was messy and permanent. Levi was glad he was dead. He was a psychotic murderer who would have done anything for fun. But it was hard to explain this feeling Levi felt at realizing he had not been as alone in the world as he thought, but now his remaining family had been halved. He also wondered how many orphans were still starving in the underground now. There would be more now, caught up in the evacuation of Wall Rose.

"But, well," he commented under his breath. "That explains what I like about Mikasa."

Levi levied himself up to his feet, taking a last glance down at Kenny's lifeless, sad expression. He sighed. But he picked up the suitcase and returned to his subordinates.

As he mounted his horse, he told them, "I just have one more stop to make, then let's head back to Erwin for further orders."

He was hoping they would find Janice just as they had left her. Hopefully, alive. And yet somehow, as they rode into the small clearing where they had last camped out as fugitives, Levi was deeply unsurprised when they encountered an empty campsite. Levi's eyes narrowed in displeasure. If she ever came back, he was looking forward to hearing how she might explain this.


End file.
